


Tamed

by Winglesss



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bottom Castiel, Community: deancasbigbang, Dean/Cas Big Bang Challenge 2014, Domestic Fluff, Explicit Sexual Content, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mating Bond, Slurs, Wing Kink, Winged Castiel, Xenophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-29
Updated: 2014-10-29
Packaged: 2018-02-22 22:09:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 39,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2523509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winglesss/pseuds/Winglesss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where supernatural creatures are coveted for their powers, and often kept as pets, Dean and Sam are infamous hunters. Known for capturing creatures too dangerous to own and selling the ones that aren't. When they hear about an Angel sighting, they know they have to find this rare and dangerous winged creature. With a help of an Enochian book with instructions on taming Angels, they manage to capture Castiel. When things take an interesting turn between Dean and the creature, Sam realizes he may have made a translation error that will change his brother's life forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [Dean/Cas Big Bang 2014](http://deancasbigbang.livejournal.com/).
> 
> Art by [Kalime80](http://kalime80.livejournal.com/) whose enthusiasm and ideas were a great motivation for me. It was a pleasure to work with someone like her.
> 
> Art masterlist [here](http://kalime80.livejournal.com/4267.html).
> 
> Beta'd by [matt-ismyhero](http://matt-ismyhero.tumblr.com/) who's the best beta and supporter I could have wished for and an awesome friend.
> 
> All feedback is appreciated! You can find me on [tumblr](http://cas-lost-grace.tumblr.com/). 
> 
>  

"An angel?" Dean looks at his brother doubtfully when the open book falls on the table in front of him.

"Not only biblical angels, but other myths about winged humanoids were based on this creature that actually existed," Sam explains.

Dean rises an eyebrow "Existed?“

"They're considered extinct, but the thing is, they’re technically immortal. Not invincible, but they don’t die of old age. Which means that if the campers really saw one of them, it must be very old. Maybe even thousands of years. It’s probably the last of its kind."

"So how dangerous is it? Do we have to kill it?"

"It’s stronger than a human and it might have limited magical powers, but it'd be a shame to kill the last one, don’t you think?"

Dean just shrugs. He's never really been interested in monsters like his nerdy brother. The only things he _wants_ to know are things he _needs_ to know: how much he can get for it or how to kill it. Sometimes it’s good to know what magical power the creature has and how can it be used, but that’s all. He’s not interested in the evolution or eating habits of every monster they come across.

"Do you have a plan?" he asks.

"Actually, I do." On the other hand, Sam is basically bouncing with excitement as he always does when they find something rare. "I found a book, or its transcript, that was written by angels themselves before their civilization fell."

"They had a civilization?" Even Dean has to admit that’s quite interesting.

"Yeah, in ancient times, it was highly developed, but then something happened and they… fell."

Dean nods. "So what do you have?"

"It’s written in Enochian, which is –"

"Spare me the nerdy details please," Dean grunts.

"I’m just telling you my translation might be flawed, but I have instructions on how to _tame_ an angel."

Dean cocks an eyebrow. "Well, spit it out."

"You have to press it on the ground face down, then grab the base of its wings and shout its true name."

"How am I supposed to know its true name?"

Sam runs his hand through his hair. "I didn’t manage to translate that part."

Dean grimaces and sighs. "So your little fairytale is useless."

"Well I assume we can count on its wings being a weak spot, especially their base," Sam shrugs.

Dean nods thoughtfully. "We’ll use the collar?" They use the magical collar instead of sedatives as most of the supernatural creatures are very sensitive to man-made chemicals.

"But Sam, " Dean points a finger at his brother, "If it’s dangerous, we’ll gank it no matter how rare or awesome it is."

Sam sighs "Of course, Dean."

 

* * *

 

It’s harder to track the creature than Dean expected. Every time they get close it seems to disappear.

"Winged son of a bitch," Dean groans in frustration, "It's making us walk in circles!"

Sam checks the map for the hundredth time. "Yeah, I think you’re right."

"We need to get in the centre of the circle."

"What?" Sam looks at him.

"It's keeping us from something in there,“ Dean explains and Sam frowns.

"Maybe it has a nest?"

 

It’s dark already when they find out Dean was right. They find a shallow cave with a bundle of ragged clothes on the floor covered with black feathers.

"There’s blood," Dean drops one of the rugs on the ground, "It must be injured."

Dean turns to his brother just in time to see the shadow above his head. The thing leaps on Sam from a nearby tree. Sam tries to shake it off, shouting a few spells that eventually make the angel back off.

It looked huge at first but it’s actually smaller than both of them, the size of an average man. An average, naked and slightly underfed man. But its wings are impressive, even though one of them isn’t spread fully. It crosses Dean’s mind that it must be where the creature’s wound is.

The angel crouches on the muddy ground like a cat, its wings arching high above its body. It’s hissing and its eyes are glowing in the moonlight - they are blue, electric blue.

Dean takes a slow step forward, and it follows his movement with its piercing gaze. It sniffs the air, eyes still focused on Dean’s face.

Dean feels mesmerized. He’s so fascinated by the angel that he almost doesn’t notice the movement by his side. He wants to shout at his brother when he realizes what he’s doing but it’s too late. Sam attacks.

Despite having an extra pair of appendages the creature is incredibly fast. It dodges Sam’s attack and gets a hold of his throat, using a powerful wave of its wings to push Sam on the ground. Judging by the way Sam struggles under the smaller body, the angel really is preternaturally strong. But it forgot it’s fighting two enemies.

Dean gets at its back, which is exactly what he needs. The creature makes note of Dean before he gets his hands on its wings but it’s enough of a distraction for Sam to get the angel off of him. Dean is the one who knocks the angel on the ground and leans on its back with his full body weight, pressing him to the mud. The angel beats its wings frantically, making the dead leaves around them float in the air. It’s like fighting in a gale and the wings are beating at Dean painfully. He clenches his teeth and presses at the angel’s neck.

"The collar!" he shouts at his brother, gripping the base of the wings, burying his fingers in soft black feathers. Then he sees it. On the bare skin, just between the two points where the wings are attached to the body, he notices a soft glow. He squints when the blue light intensifies. _Letters_ , the thin blue lines are actually letters. Dean has never seen the language before, but he knows what they mean.

The angel groans and struggles again, using the last remnants of its strength.

" _Castiel_!" Dean shouts.

Everything stills. The body under him goes lax. The flutter of the wings stops and the angel lets them fall over his back, spread on the ground. The glow on the angel’s skin fades. Dean is panting, sweat cooling on his forehead. He loosens his grip on the base of the wings but doesn’t let go of them in case the angel would try to escape.

"The collar, quick," he barks out and Sam presses the cold metal into his palm. The angel is conscious when Dean fastens the collar around its neck but it doesn’t move. Dean waits until he’s sure the collar works, until the glowing blue eyes shut.

"You okay?" he turns to his brother.

"Yeah, you?"

Dean nods, looking at the angel. The right wing is injured and Dean is sure that under the layers of grime there are bruises on the pale skin. "I don’t think he attacked the campers. I think he was just defending himself."

"I don’t know, it’s possible though. Anyway, we were lucky he was tired and in pain. I don’t want to even imagine fighting him at his full strength."

"Yeah. We should get him into the car now."

"Dean?" Dean doesn’t look up but he hears the concern in Sam’s voice.

"Yeah?"

"How did you know?"

"I'll tell you in the car. We don’t know how long the spell's gonna last."

 

It isn’t easy to get the unconscious angel out of the woods and to Sam’s pick-up. Even after using spells to make the body lighter, it takes them a few hours.

"Where to?" Sam turns to Dean when they are finally both seated in his truck.

Dean doesn’t answer immediately, staring at his hands.

"My place."

"What?" Sam almost jumps in his seat.

"I want to take care of his wing and we'll see how dangerous he is. Then we can decide what we're gonna do with him."

" _Exactly_ , Dean! We don’t know how dangerous he is. You can’t just take him home like a stray cat. With wings. With huge wings, Dean! He won’t even fit in your apartment and what about the neighbours?"

"Sam, relax. First: I know you hate my apartment, but it’s not _that_ small. Second: We can’t take him to Bobby’s, it'd  take too long and we don’t know how he'd react if we locked him up with other monsters. The poor guy's had enough stress recently." He looks his brother in the eyes and is sure he understands. They both know how it feels to lose almost everyone. They can’t help but feel sympathetic for the creature that might be the last of its kind.

"Third," Dean continues, "I know how to tame him so I should be alright. If anything happens, I’ll call you."

Sam presses his lips into a thin line and nods. "Alright. Will you tell me how you knew his name?"

"Uhm," Dean strokes the back of his neck, "it just… appeared. It was written on his back."

"Written?"

"Yeah in glowing letters. I didn’t know the language but somehow… I just knew."

Sam frowns.

"Don’t look at me like that! It’s not my fault. Maybe I’m magical."

Sam snorts. They both know Dean doesn’t have a speck of magical powers or talent for spells.

"I think you might wanna get us on the road before the angel wakes up."

"Right."

 

The spell of the collar is worn out by the time they arrive at the apartment building. The angel wakes up, but he’s so groggy he doesn’t put up resistance. He’s leaning on Dean’s shoulder, wings folded tightly against his back. They get him into the elevator while Sam bickers about how stupid it is to bring him here.

When they enter the apartment Dean’s sure the angel would freak out, if he wasn’t so tired. They drop him on the couch. He flinches away when Dean reaches towards him.

“I just want to take it away,” he points at the collar. It’s useless now and it must be pretty uncomfortable. Besides it makes the angel look like an animal and Dean somehow hates that idea.

Castiel lets him remove the collar, but he keeps his wary eyes on him and shrinks back from Dean as soon as the collar is gone.

Dean returns to Sam and gives him back the collar.

“Do you want me to recharge it and bring it back?” the younger Winchester asks.

Dean shakes his head. “I don’t think I’ll need it.“

The concerned look doesn’t disappear from Sam’s face.

"Are you sure about this, Dean? I can stay,"he says in low voice, eyeing the creature suspiciously.

"No, you have a wife waiting for you to come home. I will keep you updated."

Sam sighs and pats his shoulder, then reluctantly heads to the door.

"Say hi to Jess for me."

Sam nods and smiles before Dean closes the door.

He finds the thing… the angel… Castiel curled in a corner, facing the wall, wings wrapped around his body. Dean sighs. It’s almost unbelievable that the wild strong _thing_   with glowing eyes that attacked them in the woods, is this bundle of nerves and ragged feathers trembling with fear in the corner of his living room. Dean grabs a first aid kit from the bathroom and a wet cloth before cautiously approaching  the angel.

"Okay, buddy, let’s take care of your wing," he says, in what is meant to be a soothing way. The angel doesn’t react so Dean reaches for his wounded wing.

Castiel turns so fast that Dean stumbles back and lands on his ass. He quickly looks up when he hears a deep growl. Castiel's wings aren’t spread but their feathers are ruffled to make him look bigger. His eyes aren’t glowing in the well lit living room, they look almost human except the color, which is… stunning. Dean isn’t able to come up with a better word.

"Hey, relax, calm down!" Dean raises his hands in a non-threatening gesture, but the angel doesn’t seem to want to calm down. He growls louder and Dean notices his fists clenching.

"Come on! Cas! Castiel!" The name works almost as well as the first time. The angel relaxes visibly, folding his wings while he sits on his heels. Now, when he isn’t baring his teeth and growling, Dean can study his features. He looks like a human and quite a handsome one, Dean has to admit. He has a straight nose and wide pink lips, his hair is thick and dark and messy. Dean thinks he'll have to make him take a shower.

"Look, Cas, I’m Dean." Dean gestures to himself. The angel is watching him with a look so intense it makes him uncomfortable. It feels like the creature is examining his bare soul.

"I don’t want to hurt you. I want to help you." Castiel doesn’t even blink. Dean isn’t sure if he understands but he continues anyways, "Your wing is injured. Let me look at it. You must be in pain, I can make it stop. Just let me touch your wing, okay?"

The angel takes a deep breath, then he turns and slowly spreads his right wing towards Dean. He leans against the wall with his other shoulder.

"Good," Dean breaths out, relieved. He runs his fingers tentatively over the upper side of the wing. Castiel stiffens and squeezes his eyes shut. Dean finds the wound and clears the knot of bloodied feathers with the cloth. It looks like a gunshot wound, but the bullet must have went through. He cleans and stitches it as best he can. The angel is shaking slightly but he doesn’t make a noise.

"I wish I could give you some painkillers," he says and the angel looks at him. His forehead is covered with sweat and his lips are pale, his eyes filled with pain and something else, which Dean isn’t able to interpret. Dean suddenly realizes how close their faces are and swallows. He looks back at the wing he is bandaging. Castiel shifts leaning closer, he sniffs. Dean wrinkles his nose. "Dude, really?"

The angel looks surprised, almost offended as if he got scolded for something perfectly natural. Dean realizes that for him that’s probably exactly what happened. He sighs.

 "If it makes you feel better, take a good sniff of me." But Castiel doesn’t, he’s staring at the place where Dean is mindlessly fumbling with his feathers. Dean tracks his stare and flinches back. "Oh, oh sorry."

He gets to his feet. "You need a shower."

 

One of many reasons Dean loves his apartment is the bathroom. It’s spacious with a kickass shower stall, that looks like it was taken straight from a spaceship. The reason he’s always loved his bathroom is that he’s never tried to wrestle a grown man, with 10 feet of wings, into the shower.

At first everything goes quite well. The angel looks more curious than scared, which is good, until Dean turns the water on. Then wings are everywhere, especially in Dean’s face, beating frantically against the tiled walls. Dean's scared the angel will hurt himself. Castiel is making scared noises and tries to back off from the shower as far as possible, unaware of the man standing behind him.

"Cas! Castiel! Stop! Calm down! Castiel!" But this time the name doesn’t work. The panicked creature probably doesn’t even hear it.

Dean has two options - being smashed against a door or forcing Cas to stop.

He wraps his arms around the angel’s body, pressing his chest between the flailing wings. He takes a step forward, pushing Castiel under the stream of water. The angel jerks violently, muscles shifting under Dean’s hands. Then he relaxes, his body becoming pliant in the hot water. Dean feels his chest heaving with deep breaths. That’s the moment he realizes he’s pressed chest to back to a naked angel, a naked _man_. He also realizes Castiel’s ass is pressed to his crotch and that his pants are getting soaked and will soon cling to his body and if he doesn’t step back right now, something inappropriate might happen. He steps back and exhales heavily. He looks at the curve of the angel’s body - head hung between his strong shoulders, arms propped against a wall, wings spread only slightly, rivulets of water sliding down his pale skin. Dean swallows.

"Okay, lets get you cleaned," he murmurs and squeezes some bodywash onto a loofah. He starts at the back of Castiel’s neck and proceeds to his shoulders, making him sigh – soft sounds that send shivers down Dean’s spine. When he reaches the spot between Castiel’s wings, the angel _moans_. Dean drops the loofah on the floor.

"I... ugh... sorry," he stutters and storms out of the bathroom, slamming the door shut. He takes a few deep breaths to calm himself, then he looks down at the obvious bulge in his wet pants. _Fuck!_ He hasn’t been attracted to a man for... actually, since high school. And now he has an incredibly attractive guy in his bathroom and he’s losing his mind. The guy isn’t even the same species, for God’s sake! This shouldn’t be possible!

It takes him another couple of minutes to will his boner away. He grabs a pair of old sweatpants and returns to the bathroom. He finds the angel still in the shower, facing the door, scrubing himself clean. There are bruises and cuts on his ribs and arms as Dean expected. He bites his lower lip and thinks of his landlady in her fluffy slippers when he approaches the angel.

"Your hair," he gestures at his own and moves his hands as if he was washing it. Castiel nods.

"I’ll help you, " Dean offers and the angel turns around. Dean washes his hair. It’s soft and thick and Dean feels the angel relax even more when he rubs his scalp.

When they’re finished, Dean gives Cas a towel and looks for a healing ointment made of phoenix tears. He shows the tube to Castiel.

"This will help with the scratches and bruises you have."

The angel doesn’t react so Dean doubts he understands, but he doesn’t flinch when Dean starts rubbing the stuff into his skin. He just watches him with intense eyes. Dean’s cheeks are burning. He knew bringing the angel home was a bad idea but he definitely didn’t imagine _this_.

When he’s taking care of his arms, Castiel leans closer and sniffs at Dean’s neck. Dean stiffens. He’s so close Dean can feel the warmth radiating from his body. The angel himself smells of Dean’s shampoo and something else, something like ozone. It’s pleasant. Dean wonders how he smells to the angel after a day spent in the forest. He must reek, but the angel doesn’t seem to mind. He’s lingering a breath away from Dean’s skin, if he moved just a little, his lips would touch Dean’s neck. Dean clears his throat and Castiel looks at him. Dean grabs the sweatpants and hands them to Cas. The angel brings them to his face and sniffs at them. Dean rolls his eyes, but he can’t fight back an amused smile.

 

The angel looks ridiculous in the sweatpants, which are too long for him. Yeah, ridiculous is the right word, because Dean would _never_ use _cute_ or _adorable_ when referring to a guy. The pants also hang too low on his hips so Dean can still see his sharp hipbones (seriously, they are so sharp Dean is sure he could cut himself if he touched them and to be honest he really would like to try that), but it’s better than when he was naked. He also notices the absence of a belly button and chases away all thoughts about angel reproduction.

Dean brings some blankets and pillows and drops them on the couch.

"Make yourself comfortable. You can build a nest or something," he gestures to the couch and leaves Cas alone. He locks himself in the bathroom and takes a shower, turning the water cold when his treacherous mind keeps supplying him with images of a naked angel. He changes into his PJ’s and brushes his teeth.

The angel is sitting on the couch, wings wrapped around his body. He’s hugging one of the pillows. Dean locks the door and windows and checks all the protective spells, then he turns the light off.

"Try to get some sleep. I’ll be in the bedroom if you need something." The angel doesn’t even look up so Dean sighs and leaves him alone. He falls asleep the moment his head hits the pillow.

 

* * *

 

He wakes up because he’s too warm. He kicks the blanket away without opening his eyes. There’s still something covering him. He reaches his hand to touch it. It’s soft and warm and fluffy. He fists his hand into it and pulls it closer to his chest. There’s a purring sound somewhere on his side. He starts and sits up. Castiel’s wing slips from his chest when the angel jumps to his feet, hissing like an angry cat. His wings are spread and his eyes are glowing in the dark. The deep growl that escapes his throat makes Dean’s hair stand on end.

"Cas! Relax. It’s okay, everything is okay, you just startled me."

The angel lowers his wings and his body relaxes, his breath evens.

"What the fuck are you doing here anyway? I told you to sleep in the living room." The angel stares at him. Dean looks into his eyes, their glow is fading now that the angel is calming down, but they are still bright, even in the dim light. Sam’s words are echoing in his head: _It must be very old. Maybe even thousands of years. It’s probably the last of its kind._

 How long has it been since Castiel saw someone of his own? How long has he been hiding in the woods? He must be lonely, so lonely Dean can’t even imagine. He sees it in his eyes.

"You know what? You can sleep here, but only for tonight." He sighs. This is why he can’t have a dog, he’s too soft.

"But stay on your half," he adds when the angel crawls back on the bed. The creature makes a low dissatisfied noise and curls up, covering himself with his wings. Dean stares at the soft feathers and his fist clenches on its own will when he remembers how awesome the feathers are to the touch.


	2. Chapter 2

This time he wakes up to two sky blue eyes watching him.

"Oh my god you are such a creep!" he barks out, fighting an urge to throw a pillow at the angel. He rolls out of the bed, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. His stomach rumbles. "I’m making breakfast. What do you even eat?"

The angel blinks at him. He has the worst case of bed hair Dean has ever seen. Even his wings are ruffled. _Adorable_ , there’s no other word for this. Dean shakes his head and goes to the kitchen.

"I hope you don’t eat raw meat or something disgusting," he continues when the angel follows him like a puppy. "I could try to give you cat food."

The frown on Castiel’s face surprises him. Maybe the angel understands better than he thought.

 

He opts to make a soup. It seems to be more suitable as the creature’s first human food than pancakes and eggs. Besides, it’s already too late for breakfast.

Cooking with an angel in the kitchen is like cooking with a wild animal. Every time something makes a noise, Cas jumps and spreads his wings, knocking various objects and panicking even more. Dean has to banish him to the living room. He turns the TV on. When he returns with two bowls of hot soup, the angel is sitting on the edge of the couch, elbows on his knees, staring absolutely fascinated at the screen, watching infomercials. Dean chuckles.

"Wait 'til we watch Batman."

The angel sniffs at the bowl, then brings it to his mouth.

"Be careful, it’s ho..." Too late, the angel has already scalded his tongue. Dean bites back laughter and brings him a glass of cold water. Next time the angel is more careful while drinking the soup from the bowl. He seems to like it.

"We’ll try burgers next time," Dean says when the angel looks at him with flushed cheeks and a pleased expression.

The angel looks much better now that he’s fed and rested and the smaller wounds are healed. He’s getting less scared and more curious. The remote control is his new best buddy apparently but it’s good because his full attention is on switching channels when Dean comes to check on his wounded wing. The angel seems to trust him more, because he doesn’t freak out when Dean takes away the bandage.

The wound is healing just fine. He uses some of the healing ointment on it, but doesn’t bandage it this time. He’s sitting on the couch, the angel in front of him on the floor. Dean stares at the huge wings. They are beautiful in the daylight but there’s still something wrong with them. They are dull, even though they must be clean after the shower. Dean runs his hands over them mindlessly. The angel shifts a little but doesn’t protest so Dean runs his fingers through the feathers, brushing some of them back to their places. He moves from the long and strong feathers at the tips of the wings to smaller and softer feathers closer to Cas’ back. The angel lowers his head and spreads his wings even more, giving Dean better access.

He seems to like what Dean’s doing so Dean continues.

His fingers slip to the lower side of the wings at their base. He rubs the fluffy feathers close to Cas’ body when his fingers come across something strange. He doesn’t notice Cas’ gasp when he rubs the small bump at the base of the wing. He withdraws his hand, looking at his fingers, they are wet and slick. He rubs the oily stuff between his fingers. _Oil, right, that’s why Castiel’s wings are dull_. He reaches to the base of one of the wings again and finds the oil gland. He rubs it gently and feels the oil leaking on his fingers. He smears it gently over the feathers waiting for Cas’ reaction. The angel doesn’t move, it seems like he’s not even breathing and there’s a blush creeping up his neck to his cheeks.

"Should I stop?" Dean asks gently. The answer is a barely noticeable shake of Cas’ head. So Dean continues gently grooming his wings. To be honest he’s surprised he’s not grossed out, but the oil isn’t unpleasant to the touch (and he’s used to motor oil which is much worse) and it doesn’t reek or anything. Actually if what he smells right now is the oil, he kinda likes it even though it makes him a bit dizzy. What’s most important is this is a good excuse to touch Cas’ wings, which is something Dean can’t get enough of.

The angel is breathing heavily, eyes squeezed shut and he’s biting his lower lip, but Dean isn't paying any attention. He’s too focused on the way the feathers become shiny under his hands. They aren't only black; there are dark blue and green highlights in them.

Dean doesn’t know how long he has been working on the wings but his neck is stiff when he’s done and his leg has fallen asleep. He looks at his work and smiles. Now this is an angel from an old painting, not a scared animal he found in a forest. He stands up and stretches his back, then he looks down at the angel who’s staring at his hands, cheeks still beet red.

"Well? You look much better now but you don’t have to thank me." The angel looks up at him, eyes wide and dark and oh… something is wrong. Dean’s eyes dart to Castiel’s hands in his lap and oh…

"Oh, I’m… I’m sorry," he stutters when he rips his eyes off of the angel’s boner.

"Fuck, I mean… I didn’t want to…“ Dean takes a few steps back. The angel looks away and wraps his wings tightly around his body.

"I uh… I think I need to do some grocery shopping, I’ll be right back." He grabs his jacket and storms out of the door.

 

Once he’s out of the building he takes a deep breath of the cold air. _Wow. What did you get yourself into, Winchester?_

He’s so angry at himself. If it wasn’t awkward enough to have the angel at home, now it will be unbearable! How could he have done that? How could he have been so stupid? He should have kept his hands away from the creature. But how could he have known? And the angel didn’t stop him, he didn’t even try to stop him…

He laughs hysterically. He turned his pet on. He pinches the bridge of his nose. _Yeah, that’s the problem_. He doesn’t know how to think of Castiel. One part of him sees the angel as a really attractive man with huge amazing wings and beautiful eyes and kissable lips, the other part sees him as an animal. And it’s _so_ wrong to be attracted to an animal! But Cas seems to understand human speech. He’s sentient. He’s not a human but he’s not a dog. Well except the sniffing. _Shit_. When Sam dropped the book in front of him, Dean didn’t imagine meeting an angel could make his life so complicated.

 

He does the grocery shopping, and buys ingredients for the burgers he promised to make. He also buys some beers. He’s going to need something to calm his nerves. Then he slowly walks home, wondering if it was a good idea to leave the angel alone. He might panic and chew his shoes up. Dean shakes his head. He has to stop thinking like that.

His stomach twists when he comes home and doesn’t see the angel.

The apartment looks empty, as empty as it always is when Dean returns from a hunt, but for the first time the emptiness feels wrong. He sighs with relief when he finds Castiel in the bedroom, sitting on "his" side of the bed, knees drawn to his chest. He looks up at Dean, blue eyes filled with surprise and hope and relief and Dean realizes the angel must have thought Dean had abandoned him. He comes closer to the bed and the angel smiles at him. He wants to ruffle his hair but stops himself.

"Wanna help me make some burgers?"

  

Castiel is a curious little shit.

He wants to sniff and taste every ingredient Dean uses and rummages through all the drawers. He’s fascinated with a garlic press. The face he makes after he eats a whole clove of garlic is priceless and makes Dean laugh so hard his ribs hurt. He doesn’t laugh, though, when he hands Cas a piece of tomato and the bastard takes it with his lips straight from Dean’s fingers. He knows there was nothing sexual about it from Cas’ side, but it doesn’t change anything about how it makes Dean’s cheeks burn.

Seriously, everything would be much easier if the angel could wear a shirt. But besides Dean blushing every time Cas’ wings brush against his back, it’s quite nice to cook with Cas. Dean has to admit it’s more fun than he's had in ages.

 

When the burgers are done, they settle on the couch and Dean puts Batman on. He waits till Cas takes the first bite of his burger and watches how his face lights up. His eyes crinkle at corners when he smiles and he nods at Dean contently. Dean grins and eats his own burger.

"No, you can’t have my burger! You already had three. You'll get a stomachache!" The angel pouts and Dean can’t help but laugh at him. This time he ruffles his hair without thinking about it.

He takes a sip of his beer and feels Cas’ eyes on him. The angel has been eyeing the bottle since Dean opened it.

"I don’t know, man, it might hurt you." A frown. Dean translates it as "It doesn’t hurt _you_ ".

"Okay, but just a sip, you are enough of a troublemaker when you are sober. I wouldn’t be able to handle you if you got tipsy." He hands the bottle to Cas and has to avert his eyes when Cas’ lips touch the bottle and his Adam’s apple moves with a swallow. Cas seems to like beer, but not as much as he likes burgers. He doesn’t like Batman, all action scenes make him jump and flail his wings and hiss. Dean has to calm him down which results in Cas’ wings wrapped protectively around Dean and Cas’ hand clenching Dean’s shirt. It’s really hard to focus on Bruce Wayne when Cas is basically snuggling against him. When the movie is over and Dean gives up explaining to Cas that none of it was real, he bids him good night and goes to bed.

 

_Soft feathers, hot skin, the smell of ozone. Plush lips on his, gentle hands everywhere. Blue eyes glow in the dark._

Dean gasps, his arousal growing. He opens his eyes and sees the ceiling of his bedroom, alone. He groans, palming his hard cock. He knows he’s screwed. All he wants is to jerk off, to let his imagination work, to come with Cas’ name on his lips. But he knows he can’t. It would make living with Cas even harder than it already is.

Dean gets up and goes to take a cold shower. It makes him hate the whole world. Drying his hair with a towel and grumbling under his breath, he moves to the living room. He stops when he sees the TV is still on. Cas looks at him over the back of the couch.

"You can’t sleep?" he asks. The angel just sighs.

"You know what? It’s time to introduce you to hot chocolate. I hope I have some mini marshmallows, I bet you’d love them."

 

He doesn’t love them. He actually spits them on the coffee table. Dean can’t even be mad at him, he just laughs and cleans it. When he comes back from the kitchen, Cas is sipping the chocolate and staring at the picture on the end table.

"It’s my mom," Dean says softly and a pair of questioning blue eyes turns to him.

"She died when I was four," he adds and sits on the couch next to Cas. He usually doesn’t talk about it, but it feels like he can tell Cas, maybe because he knows the angel won’t say anything Dean doesn’t want to hear.

"She died in a fire. An Ifrit. That’s how dad got into hunting. He lost everything when mom died and he didn’t know how to handle it. He became obsessed." Dean sighs.

"He taught me everything I know about monsters and hunting but... I kinda wish he hadn't. Sometimes all he cared about was his revenge and Sam and I... we just needed a father, not a... drill sergeant." He looks at Cas and sees the question clear on his face.

"He’s gone. Died in a car crash a few years ago."

Cas squeezes his shoulder. The gesture is so human it surprises him. He takes a drink, the sweet hot liquid calming him a little.

"Did you have a family?" he asks, looking at the angel for an answer.

Castiel nods, staring at his hands.

"Wife? Kids?" Dean’s stomach twists with the idea of Cas losing his family, but the angel shakes his head this time.

"Siblings then?" Cas nods. He suddenly looks much older, not as old as he must actually be of course, but he seems tired with life.

"I’m sorry. You must feel really alone."

The angel looks at him, Dean feels like he’s drowning in his eyes. Castiel shakes his head and Dean understands. He doesn’t feel alone anymore. A warm feeling spreads inside Dean’s chest and a soft smile tugs at the corners of his lips.

"We should try to get some sleep, buddy," he pats Cas’ knee and gets up.

"You think you’ll be able to fall asleep this time?" He sees Cas’ eyes dart to the bedroom door and back to his hands, he nods and Dean sighs. _Screw it_.

"If you want, you can sleep in the bedroom." He rubs the back of his neck and when Cas’ eyes shoot up to him, he points at Cas. "But no snuggling!"

It has been years since Dean last fell asleep to the sound of someone’s even breathing, he forgot how soothing it is.

 

Castiel is just going through the first stack of pancakes in his life and Dean is watching him with a wide proud grin, when somebody knocks on the door. Cas starts, his eyes widen and his wings ruffle up.

"That’s okay, stay here, Cas." Dean pats the angel’s shoulder when he passes him on his way to answer the door.

"Oh, Sam," he breathes out when he sees the giant of his brother standing in the door. He had promised to call him - but forgot - and judging by the angry look on Sam’s face, he’s in serious trouble.

" _Oh Sam_? That’s all?" Sam barks out.

"Look, I’m really sorry, I forgot…“

Sam takes a step forward into the apartment, forcing Dean to take a step back. He slams the door shut behind himself.

"Do you have any idea how scared I was?" he yells. "You took a monster into your home! I thought you might be dead!"

"Calm the fuck down, Sam! I’m alright! And Cas is not a monster, he’s not dangerous!"

" _Cas_? So, you’ve been too busy playing around with your new pet to let your _brother_ know you're alright?"

"Don’t talk to me like that," Dean snarls.

"I’ll stop talking to you like that when you start acting like a responsible adult!" Sam's about to take another step closer  when Dean is pushed away. Separating him and his brother is a pair of huge black wings and an angry angel, growling threateningly.

"What the fuck!" Sam cries out and backs off, his back hits the door with a loud thump.

Dean’s nose is filled with the smell of ozone, reminding him of thunderstorms. It feels like the air around the angel is buzzing with electricity. Dean’s suddenly scared for his brother.

"Cas, it’s okay," he chokes out and places his palm softly between Castiel’s wings.

The angel stops growling and steps away from Sam, closer to Dean, not letting his eyes break away from his terrified brother.

"You should go," Dean says, trying to sound as calm as possible. "I’ll call you, I swear I won’t forget this time. Just leave."

The younger Winchester nods and opens the door, not turning his back on the angel. He hurries out of the apartment. Cas snarls after him for good measure, then turns to face Dean. The blue glow is fading from his eyes.

Dean’s shell-shocked. Part of him thinks he should scold the angel for lashing out to his brother. Another part knows Castiel isn't a dog Dean can train. He’s a being much stronger and wilder than Dean and he could snap Dean in a half if he wanted. But he chose to protect him instead. Dean is still trying to process that and say something when the angel leans closer to him. He wraps his wings around Dean’s body. The hunter feels the feathers brushing against the back of his neck which makes him shiver. Castiel brushes his cheek against Dean’s like a giant cat scent-marking him. Then he’s gone, he goes to continue with his pancakes leaving Dean standing there, staring at the door, his cheek still burning from the touch, his heart pounding fast.

 

Castiel acts like nothing strange has happened. He even looks content. He finishes his pancakes, then he takes a shower (he wants Dean to assist him, but the man refuses, the memory of the last time still vivid in his mind). Then he watches TV and Dean takes the opportunity to shut himself in the bedroom and call Sam.

"Hello."

"Hey, Sam. I’m... I’m sorry I didn’t call you... and I’m sorry for what happened here."

"Yeah, uhm... that’s okay. Nothing bad actually happened. But, Dean, does he do that often? Are you sure he’s not dangerous?"

"Yes! I mean no, he's never done such a thing before. He’s actually pretty tame. He tries to learn human things and... I think you just scared him, he tried to protect me."

"Yeah uhm so... you two get along well?"

Dean feels his ears burning and is glad his brother can’t see him right now.

 "Yeah, we do."

"What about his injured wing?"

"It'll be alright soon." His stomach twists at his own words. He knows what Sam's going to say.

"Have you thought of what you'll do with him then?"

"No, not yet…“ Dean sighs.

"You should."

"I know," he snaps impatiently.

"I'll call Bobby. He might know what to do."

"Yeah, that’s a good idea."

There’s silence on both ends of the line for some time, Sam is the one to break it.

"Take care, Dean. And if you need something, call me, okay?"

"Yeah, will do. Say hi to Jess for me."

"Yeah. Bye, Dean."

They hang up and Dean walks to the living room. He finds Castiel looking out of the window. He looks sad and the sight makes Dean’s chest constrict.

He stares at the angel and realizes he must feel trapped. Dean trapped him here and some selfish part of him wants to keep him. But he sees how Castiel suffers, he needs to stretch his wings, he needs his freedom. Wild animals in captivity die.

"Hey, Cas, do you want to take a walk?" The angel looks at him, surprised. Dean nods at him reassuringly.

"We’ll have to wait until dark and we’ll have to disguise your wings but I think we can think of something."

Castiel’s face lights up and he nods eagerly. Dean returns the smile, but something in his chest aches.

 

He finds an old tan trench coat. Cas looks ridiculous with it tented over his wings, but he seems to like it. It’s already dark and it’s drizzling when they go out, so the streets are empty. Dean thinks the city must be unpleasant for Castiel, it’s dirty and noisy and it smells. But the curiosity seems to win over the angel, his eyes are shining with excitement. At first, he jumps every time a car passes them, but he gets used to it quickly. Dean puts his palm on Cas’ elbow just to be sure the angel won’t get startled and lash out at someone. Surprisingly, everything goes well. They go to a park, and Cas seems to enjoy the rain. He throws his head back and lets the rain fall on his face, a gentle smile on his lips, hair plastered to his forehead. He pets a stray cat and when he starts to shiver with the cold, Dean drags him back home. Something strange flutters under his breastbone when he takes off Cas’ coat and towels his hair. The angel is smiling and it makes Dean happier than he would expect.

 

* * *

 

Things get harder from there and the next day is hell. Dean can’t think straight. All he can focus on is Cas. He watches him all the time. The way his lips curl into a smile when he finds something interesting (like the taste of fresh brewed coffee). His long graceful fingers when he rummages through Dean’s things (he shouldn’t allow him to do that but he can’t find it in himself to scold the angel). His wings and how they give away every emotion, and his eyes, Dean could stare into them all day long.

He can’t function like this, he has to do something. He decides he’s probably just frustrated and needs to blow off some steam.

"Hey, Cas. I’m going out. I need to… take care of some things." The angel looks at him, but doesn’t object so Dean puts on his jacket and grabs his keys. "There’s some leftover mac and cheese in the fridge if you get hungry. So uhm... be good. I’ll be back soon."

He’s a bit nervous when he’s locking the door. He tells himself the angel will be alright, he'll probably just watch TV all night.

At first he needs to get the angel out of his mind. A few shots of tequila will fix that, then he can start looking for his prey.

He ends up with a petite brunette with a loud laugh and eyes that are not blue enough. She has a place nearby and when they stumble into the apartment, they are already shredding their clothes. Her lips taste like some girly cocktail and her long fingernails leave marks on Dean’s skin. Dean makes sure he makes it good for her even though there’s something slimy twisting inside his guts as he touches her.

He comes with a loud moan and collapses on top of her, and she chuckles and runs her fingers through his hair. He rests his head on her chest, listening to the beating of her heart. He doesn’t feel better, no, he actually feels so much fucking worse. She looks disappointed when he apologizes that he has to go, but she’s not angry which is a relief. She insists on giving him her number and he takes it, even though he’s pretty sure he will never call her. He walks home, the cold air helping him to sober up.

He stops in front of the door, praying for Cas to be asleep. As always, his prayers aren’t answered. Cas peeks over the back of the couch, wings ruffled up happily. He’s like a puppy wagging its tail when its master comes home. Then he looks at Dean thoroughly and his smile fades away. Dean feels his heart drop, he rubs the back of his neck to get rid of the blush that is creeping up to his cheeks.

"I’ll go take a shower," he mumbles and tries to get out of the room as quickly as possible but a wall of feathers stops him. He looks up to see Castiel’s furious expression.

"Look I’m really tired - “ He doesn’t finish. Strong fingers wrap around his throat. Castiel pushes him against a wall, slamming all the air out of his lungs.

Dean doesn’t even try to fight back, he shuts his eyes and leans his head against the wall, baring his throat for Castiel. The angel sniffs and this time Dean knows exactly what he smells. Booze and sex. The angel sneers, the sounds runs through Dean’s bones. He opens his eyes, anger suddenly burning hot in his veins.

It’s _his_ life, his choices and the angel has nothing to do with it.

The angel leans in and presses his lips against Dean’s.

Dean’s heart skips a beat. He opens his mouth to let Cas’ tongue in. The kiss is rough and too short. Dean moans when Cas pulls away. He drags his lips along Dean’s jawline, then he sinks his teeth into the skin of his neck. It makes Dean snap out of it, he pushes him away.

"Cas," he breaths out when he sees the surprise in the angel’s face. His own heart is pounding fast with fear. _Fear_. He doesn’t know what he’s afraid of, but it’s the only emotion that fills his body. The angel must feel it, or smell it, who knows, because he backs off and the anger drains out of his face and is replaced by concern.

"Shower," Dean mumbles and almost runs into the bathroom.

He shakes off his clothes and turns the water on, then scrubs himself clean. His hands are trembling and his knees buckle. He ends up sitting on the floor of the shower, knees dragged to his chest, drops of hot water beating his back. _What the fuck is happening?_ He doesn’t understand anything, he doesn’t understand himself. One hunt and his life is upside down. The angel stormed into Dean’s life and made everything complicated. No, he didn’t come on his own - Dean invited him; he dragged him in and now everything is a mess. Next time Sam says something is a stupid idea, he’s going to listen, he swears.


	3. Chapter 3

He wakes up with a headache and a groan because the events of yesterday rush into his mind. He doesn’t want to get up. Ever. The angel can take care of himself, Dean showed him how to use the microwave the other day. Dean's not going to leave the bed and face the world, not today.

 The doorbell rings. Dean pulls a pillow over his head. It rings again. He realizes Castiel might freak out, so he gets out of the bed with grumpy mumbling.

It’s Sam. He doesn’t look angry this time, but concerned.

"Sam? What is it?"

"I need to talk to you."

"Figured," he grumbles and lets him in. He checks on Cas, who’s in the kitchen playing with a bowl of cereal and milk.

Sam takes a seat in the armchair and Dean flops onto the couch.

"Spit it out."

"It’s about Castiel."

Dean frowns. He feels his stomach tying itself into a knot.

 "I told you he’s alright." Except the part when he kissed Dean, but there’s no way he’s going to talk about that with his brother.

"I know Dean but… I made a mistake and I think I got you into trouble." He runs his hand through his hair.

"What do you… for God’s sake, Sam, just spit it out."

Sam takes a deep breath, avoiding Dean’s eyes when he starts talking.

"When I translated the Enochian book, I made a mistake. I thought I found instructions on how to tame an angel but it was… it was actually about _mating_." Only then he looks at Dean, who simply stares back.

"What? Mating? Are you trying to say-“

"You are mated to the angel, yeah."

Dean keeps staring. There’s no air in his lungs but he doesn’t care. He feels dizzy.

"Dean, I’m so sorry! I really didn’t know…“

When Dean finally starts to breath, he rubs his temples. "Fuck… fuck!" Everything makes sense now. It makes terrible, horrifying sense.

"I’m sorry…"

"Sorry's not gonna fix it! Do you even realize how much you messed up?!" He gets up and starts pacing.

"It’s like… you accidentally had me married!"

"Uhm… not exactly..."

"Yeah, not exactly! If I was married to some chick I could talk to her, but how am I supposed to explain to him I don’t wanna be his fucking mate!"

Dean doesn’t realize how loud he speaks until he hears footsteps behind him. He turns to see Cas storming into the bedroom and slamming the door behind himself.

"Fuck!" Dean spits out and drops himself on the couch.

"I think he understands more than you think," Sam notes and Dean shoots him a dirty look.

"Fuck, Sam," he moans and hides his face in his hands.

"This is bad. This is so bad. What if... Some species die when their mate abandons them! I couldn’t do that to him!"

"I'll do some more research. Maybe we can find a way to break the bond."

"Hope this time you’ll do a better job than the last time."

"I told you I’m sorry, Dean."

Dean sighs. "I know, I just..." He shakes his head desperately.

"How is it even possible? I don’t know if you noticed but he’s a guy and so am I. How can we be... " Dean swallows, unable to even say the word.

"Uhm, there’s the thing about angels. You know it’s said they are genderless."

"He’s not junkless. I saw him naked. He’s a guy."

"Uhm, yeah I know. The whole thing is just a misinterpretation. They had biological sex like us. But they didn’t take the gender and sexuality stuff so seriously. They didn’t breed like us so sex and love wasn’t bound to gender."

"Okay, I get it. They could have sex with whoever they wanted, which is actually nice, but what about the mating? What is it good for?"

"I didn’t find much information about their reproduction, but they can only breed with their true mates. I think that’s why they are extinct. When someone’s mate was killed in a war, they couldn’t have children with anyone else."

Dean breaths out heavily. "I’m not going to have children with a freaking angel! Besides how can I? I’m a human! This shouldn’t be possible."

"Maybe that’s nature trying to save the bloodline. If he’s the last one, the last one who can breed, but he doesn’t have a partner, he has to find a mate in another species."

Dean shakes his head. "That’s nuts."

"Well, you were able to read his name, so that must mean you are genetically compatible."

"No," Dean jumps to his feet again, "No! I’m not gonna accept that I’m predestined for interspecies breeding! That’s just sick!"

Sam gets up and places his hand on Dean’s shoulder. "We’ll work it out. I promise."

Dean feels tears burning at the back of his eyes. "Just do the research. Find as much as possible."

"Okay." He pats Dean’s back. "Are you going to be okay?"

Dean sighs. "Yeah. Now go." He looks to the bedroom door. "I have a jilted husband to comfort."

Sam smiles weakly. "I'll let you know when I find something." Dean nods and Sam heads out of the apartment. He stops in the doorway.

"Dean? I’m really sorry."

"It’s not your fault."

Dean Winchester is a coward.

There’s no other way to explain why he can’t face the angel. Not that the angel makes it easier. He zealously avoids Dean - storms out of the room whenever Dean enters, locks himself in the bathroom for hours, turns the volume of the TV up whenever Dean takes a breath to say something. He doesn’t even look at him, which kills every spark of courage Dean gets.

Anyway, Dean wouldn’t know what to say. The situation is so fucked up he doesn’t even know where to start. The spell? Yeah, the spell is the root of all evil. And even though he didn’t know the true purpose of the spell, it’s his responsibility. He made Castiel feel _things_ towards him. God, it’s practically rape, isn’t it? He forced "the bond" or whatever it is down Cas’ throat without his consent. He literally made the angel submit to him. The thought makes Dean sick.

He should have realized something was off. The way Cas looked at him, always too close, the fact that he tried to protect him. No way the angel would feel something for Dean by his own will.

Part of Dean hurts when he realizes how naive he was to think that, maybe, Castiel liked him. But that part is probably just the bonding spell, right? That’s the reason why he felt so attracted to the angel, isn’t it? Knowing this makes him feel better, safer. It’s easier to face some spell than his own unexpected feelings. But at the same time it makes him absolutely miserable.

He doesn’t know what to do. He watches the angel curled up in the corner of the living room like the first day he brought him here. He’s making low noises, like mumbling. Dean places a plate with sandwiches for the angel on the coffee table with a sigh and hides himself in the bedroom to give Castiel space. He doesn’t know what to do and Sam is still not calling. Dean needs somebody else’s opinion. He’s too involved in this.

He calls Bobby and even though he’s blushing with embarrassment, he tells him the whole story. The old hunter knows a lot of swear words and Dean hears them all. Bobby promises to try to find a way to break the bond. They discuss the options for the angel. They could take him into the woods and let him hide there, but Dean isn’t sure Cas would like that, it seems he's grown fond of human things like hot showers and burgers. They also consider Cas living at Bobby’s. Singer’s Salvage Yard - that’s what people call it - is a place where Bobby keeps monsters that are wounded, too old or agressive. Simply those that no one wants as pets or those that have already served their purpose. It would be safe for Castiel to live there. People usually avoid the place.

The angel might even like helping Bobby take care of all the unicorns and wyverns and griffins. Dean just can’t imagine him like that. He actually can’t imagine him anywhere else than by his side. But that must be the bond and they'll break it soon.

He thanks Bobby and smiles weakly when the old hunter wishes him luck.

 

* * *

 

Dean prepares everything the angel might need while he’s away and leaves for a hunt. Just one night. When he says goodbye, the angel grips his wrist, startling him a little.

"I’ll be back tomorrow, don’t worry," he says when he sees the concern in the angel’s eyes. Castiel looks around and grabs a sharpie, he draws a simple sigil on the inside of Dean’s wrist, then sighs and lets go of his hand. Dean watches him go back to his nest on the couch, and then he examines the sigil. He's never seen anything like it.

Wait, he has, actually, it resembles the letters he saw on Cas’ back the night he... But this time he doesn’t magically understand what it means. He can just hope Cas didn’t curse him. He checks all the safety spells and leaves.

 

Heasked Bobby to give him an easy job, nothing that could cost him his life if he lost focus thinking about those damn blue eyes. He has to collect fairy dust from bunch of pixies. They’re not really dangerous, but they're mean little bastards, if you ask Dean. He ends up with a few scratches but the spells those mischievous bitches tried to use haven't worked on him. He rubs the sigil on his wrist and smiles.

It’s long past midnight when he’s done. He goes to his motel room and showers to scrub away the smell of forests and pixie dust.

When he lies on the bed, he can’t help but think about Cas. He hopes the angel is alright. It might be a mistake to leave him alone, but Dean couldn’t breathe in the apartment. He needed to take his mind off things. Not like the last time, he would never again come back to Cas smelling of somebody else. Oh god, he feels so stupid when he thinks about it. If he had known the angel had thought of him as his mate, he would never do that. He’s an asshole but he doesn’t cheat. Even though the… the thing between him and Cas is just... technical. It isn’t a real relationship and it could never be because Cas isn’t human.

Dean’s tired and he’s far from home in a strange bed, and it’s in situations like this that boundaries slip away and people let their imagination wander. So does Dean. What if they had met under different circumstances? What if he let the feelings between them flare up? He wonders what it would be like, if it would work. He imagines Cas’ warm smile and bright eyes. He rubs his wrist again. He would like to know if the angel is curled up in his bed, face buried in Dean’s pillow, inhaling his smell. Warmth spreads in his lower belly and he shifts on the bed.

 He thinks of soft lips and his hand creeps under the covers and between his legs. He palms his hardening cock and sighs. His other hand grabs the bed sheet and he imagines it’s black feathers. He groans in frustration. He shouldn’t do that, but he’s far from home, in a strange bed and he’s under an influence of a spell so screw it. He needs it and he’s not hurting anyone. He fucks lazily into his fist, eyes squeezed shut so he can imagine the lean body and huge wings. It’s so easy to imagine Cas on top of him, wings spread in the air and trembling with pleasure. He tightens his fist and imagines Cas’ lips. Oh yes, those lips would look perfect wrapped around his dick. He moans and thrusts hard. His mind provides him with filthy visuals of the angel that make his arousal grow and he feels his climax approaching quickly. It’s when he hears a voice in his head, the voice he only ever heard in an angry, threatening growl, a deep husky voice saying his name.

He comes with a gasp, and hot cum pools on his stomach. When Dean comes back to his senses, still breathing heavily, he wipes it off with some tissues from the bedside table. He rolls on his stomach and draws the covers closer to his body, still imagining they're black wings.

 

* * *

 

On the way home, Dean is nervous. Something bad might have happened. The angel might have tried to cook something and set the apartment on fire. Or he might have slipped in the shower and hit his head! It was such a terrible idea to leave him alone. What was he thinking?

His heart is pounding fast when he’s unlocking the door. And there he is, standing in the hall, in one piece and unharmed - Castiel - looking at him. _Oh god, were his eyes always so damn blue?_ His hair is mussed as always but his wings are shiny _. Did he groom himself?._

 Dean realizes he’s staring at Cas’ chest and lifts his eyes to his face. The angel wets his lips with his tongue and Dean follows the movement. Castiel takes a deep breath.

"Hello, Dean." His voice is deep and husky, it sends electricity sparkling down Dean’s spine. It’s exactly as he imagined.

Castiel bows his head, his cheeks are flushed, he looks ashamed.

"You... you speak?" Dean stutters.

"Castiel try." Cas looks at him and his lips curl up into a shy smile.

Suddenly all clicks into place. All the TV watching and mumbling in a corner. Castiel was practicing. Dean wonders if he already knew how to speak English and just forgot. It would make sense, considering he understood from the beginning.

"Cas, it’s awesome!" Dean blurts out finally. Cas’ smile widens, then it fades away.

"Castiel need talk," he says seriously, looking Dean in the eyes.

"You need to talk to me?"

Cas nods. "Castiel is no beast."

"Cas, I know! I know you are not a beast. I’m sorry if I made it seem like I think that."

The angel is frowning, not meeting Dean’s eyes.

"But Dean no like Castiel."

Dean huffs out a breath. "I do! Come on, Cas! Why do you think I don’t like you? Did I… did I hurt your feelings somehow? Look at me, Cas."

Castiel obeys. His eyes are filled with mixed emotions, and Dean is afraid he might drown in them.

"I like you, Cas," his voice falters a little.

"But no mate."

Dean feels his heart skip a beat. His eyes dart to Cas’ lips. When did they get so close to each other?

He shuts his eyes for a moment to steady himself.

"Look, Cas. The whole mating business… I’m sorry. I didn’t know what I was doing. Sam’s translation was wrong and I didn’t… I would never… I’m really sorry."

Castiel squints at him. "Sorry?"

"Yeah. For forcing you into that. For mating with you without your consent. But I swear it wasn’t my intention."

The angel shakes his head. "Did not. No force."

Dean scowls. "What?"

"Castiel did want."

Dean blinks a few times, taken aback. The angel can’t mean what Dean thinks he means.

"W-what? You wanted to - “

"Mate," Cas nods. "Show Dean name. Dean take it."

Suddenly it’s hard to breathe, the air is too thick, too hot.

"But why?" he sounds confused, desperate even to his own ears.

Cas’ eyes drop to the floor, his blush deepens.

"Dean is clever." He mumbles and Dean remembers the way Cas was playing with them in the woods. It took him a while to realize it but he managed to find the nest eventually.

"Dean strong." Dean looks away, feeling warmth crawling up his neck.

"Dean pretty," the angel almost purrs. He’s even closer now. Dean can feel his hot breath on his skin.

"Dean smell right." Dean swallows around the lump in his throat.

It takes up all his mental power to focus on forming a coherent sentence.

"So I was able to read your name because you wanted me to?"

Cas shakes his head, his hair tickles at Dean’s jaw.

"Castiel show. Dean read because Dean right."

Dean doesn’t get what the angel means before Sam’s words emerge from his memory. _You were able to read his name, so that must mean you are genetically compatible._

He takes a step back and pinches the bridge of his nose with a shaking hand. His head is spinning, his life has turned upside down. Again. For too many times in a few last days.

"Dean?" Cas sounds concerned.

He didn’t force the angel into anything. _Good_. It brings him some relief but there’s still something he needs to know.

"Cas, does the bond… does it affect us somehow?"

Castiel tilts his head to one side. "No. Not yet. The bond weak. We did not - "

Dean stops him with a raised hand. "I get it, I get it!" He knows the angel means they didn’t _consummate_ the bond yet. Even thinking about it makes his stomach feel weird. He‘s definitely not going to _talk_ about it.

"I meant… Does it influence how I feel towards you?"

Castiel draws his eyebrows together. "No."

Dean lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and shuts his eyes. He tries to steady his heartbeat.

Everything he thought was wrong. Castiel _wanted_ to mate with him. The attraction he feels is real. If Cas is telling the truth, the bond has no effect on them yet. He thought he was under a spell and that was the reason for his feelings, it would make sense. But the whole time it was just him. And the angel apparently feels the same. He’s afraid his knees might give out under him.

Cas’ voice snaps him out of his thoughts. "Do you?"

Dean looks at him "Do I what?"

"Feel."

Dean examines Cas’ face and finds hope mixed with concern. It makes him feel as if somebody is squeezing his heart.

"I do," he chokes out. Cas’ eyes widen. He bites his lower lip.

"But no mate." It’s hard not to hear the disappointment in his voice.

Dean sighs. "Cas, it’s all just really confusing for me. It’s hard to believe that nature or some higher power or whatever wants us to be together. I’m not sure I can grasp the concept of true mates and it makes me uncomfortable."

Cas nods and bows his head.

"It doesn’t mean I don’t like you or that I’m not attracted to you." He rubs at his eyes. He feels tired.

"I just need to sort my thoughts. It will take me some time."

Cas stares at him. He’s beautiful. Now when Dean knows that everything he thinks and feels is really just his own, it’s hard to admit, but it’s true.

"I wait," he says and Dean feels a swell of emotion towards the angel. He smiles, even though it’s a bit forced.

"Thank you."


	4. Chapter 4

It’s a bit awkward. Cas keeps his distance, careful not to get in Dean’s way. He’s giving him space to sort his thoughts which is exactly what Dean asked him for. But after almost a week of no interaction, Dean is sick of it. Besides, how is he supposed to understand how he feels towards the angel, when said angel doesn’t even look at him?

He runs out of patience late in the afternoon.

"Hey, Cas," he reaches his hand to touch the tip of Castiel’s wings, making the angel turn to him.

"Uhm... do you know what’s this called?" he asks and shows him a spoon.

Castiel cocks his eyebrow. "Spoon."

Dean nods with a bright grin and looks for another object to show him.

They spend over an hour like this. Dean points to random objects, asking what it is or what color it is. Sometimes it’s hard for Cas to remember the right word, sometimes he doesn’t even know it, so Dean helps him. He tries to fix his grammar a little bit as well. It’s actually quite fun, Dean used to play like this with Sammy when he was three.

"Hey, Cas, you used to speak English before, didn’t you?"

The angel nods, not looking at him. "Long time ago."

Dean steps closer, entering his personal space. He feels drawn to the man and he can’t resist anymore.

"How long - " The words stuck in his throat. He swallows, his fingers find their way to Cas’ wings of their own volition. He starts to fidget with the tips of the feathers on the underside of his left wing.

"How long have you been in the woods all alone?"

The angel shakes his head.

"Too long," his voice is barely audible, but its deep rumble makes Dean shiver.

Silence stretches between them. Dean stares at Cas’ sad face. He tries to imagine what's running through his head. After a few long minutes filled with just the sound of their breath, Cas shifts uncomfortably and Dean lets go of his wing.

"But you have your own language, right?" He changes the topic.

Cas nods, smiling gently.

"Echo... Ero..." Dean tries to remember what Sam called it. It would be useful to sometimes actually listen to what his brother says.

"Enochian."

"Yeah, right. Can you tell me something? I want to know what it sounds like."

The angel nods and bites his lower lip, thinking of what to say.

When he finally speaks, it sounds like nothing Dean has ever heard. It’s less melodicthan English and it sounds somehow harsh but for some reason it makes Dean’s heart swell. He smiles.

"What was that? What did you say?"

Castiel’s eyes shift and he blushes.

"Won’t tell," he mumbles.

"Come on, tell me!" Dean nudges his shoulder.

"No."

"Caaaaas! You have to tell me or I’ll die of curiosity! Come on!" Dean whines.

"I said that you are irritating human."

"No! You didn’t!"

Castiel snorts and turns to move away but Dean blocks him.

"I know you didn’t say that! What did you say? You said you like me, right?" Dean grins.

The angel rolls his eyes and turns around, hitting Dean with his wings.

"Hey!" Dean chuckles and shoves Castiel back.

The angel wraps his arms around Dean so fast Dean's only reaction is a surprised huff of air.

"Fuck, Cas! What are you doing? Cas!" he tries to wrestle the grinning angel but he’s laughing too hard and Castiel tackles him on the floor.

Only when he stops laughing and takes a deep breath does he realize that the angel is sitting on his legs and pinning his arms to the floor. His heart beats so fast he’s afraid it might jump out of his chest.

"Cas?" he breathes out.

"Annoying human," Cas growls but his eyes sparkle playfully.

"Should show some respect," he adds, leaning so close his lips almost touch Dean’s. Dean’s breath hitches. Then the angel lets go of him and getsto his feet.

Dean stays laying on the floor, watching as Cas flops himself onto the couch and turns on the TV.

"Cas? What do you want to do?" He asks, sitting up.

The angel tilts his head. "Watch TV? Dinner? I’m hungry."

Dean can’t fight back a smile but he shakes his head.

"No I mean what do you want to do with your life. Where do you want to go?"

"You want me to go?"

"No, no! I just get that you probably don’t want to spend the rest of your life locked in a small apartment. Don’t you want to stretch your wings? To breathe fresh air again?"

Cas looks out the window and nods, then he bows his head.

"So do you want to go back to the woods? We can find you a safe place." The angel just shrugs, refusing to look Dean in the face.

"Or I thought... I have a friend, Bobby, he has that place where he keeps a lot of magical creatures. You might like to help him. No one would bother you there." Cas doesn’t react at all this time. He’s upset, Dean can tell by the way his wings are hunched. He gets closer, kneeling in front of Cas.

"Hey, buddy. Just tell me what you want."

Blue eyes pierce into his. "I want to stay with you," Cas answers gravely.

His stare is so intense Dean finds it hard to think straight. He gulps and nods.

"We can - We’ll work it out. If that’s what you want."

The angel doesn’t smile, he just lets out a breath and closes his eyes. Dean pats his knee and stands up.

"So what do you want for dinner?"

"Pancakes."

"Pancakes for dinner?"

"I like pancakes." the angel pouts which makes Dean chuckle.

"There’s still a lot of things you haven’t tried yet. I should cook something new. Wanna help me?"

Castiel points at the TV.

"I watch. You cook."

Dean laughs and shakes his head. "You can’t be real," he mumbles and goes to the kitchen.

 He tries to not think too hard about it. About the look in Cas’ eyes when he said he wanted to stay. About the fact that he lets him stay. He wants him to stay. He’s sure the angel will change his mind eventually. He'll  choose freedom over Dean. But until then, Dean is going to enjoy his company.

 

* * *

 

A few days later Dean goes to meet Sam.

"So? You look excited," Sam starts when they settle down in a booth and Dean digs into his pie.

"Cas speaks," Dean beams at him.

"What?" Sam cocks an eyebrow.

"The angel speaks English." Dean stresses every word to make it easier for his slow brother to understand.

"You taught him to speak English?" Sam seems surprised, but not as excited as Dean expected.

"No, he already knew he just... needed to remind himself. You know, decades in the woods and all that."

"So did he tell you how long he’d been there?" Sam frowns and leans closer over the table between them.

Dean shakes his head and takes another bit of the pie.

"I don't think he knows himself. But it must have been a really long time."

Sam nods and stirs his coffee.

"So... you talked about the bond?" He tries to sound casual but he can’t hide the weird expression he gets every time he tries to make Dean talk about feelings. As if Dean is a wild animal that might get scared and flee.

"Yeah." Dean mumbles, hoping that Sam will give up.

"And?" Sam pushes. Dean can feel eyes piercing through his skull and his cheeks getting warm.

He doesn’t look at his brother, but stares at the fork in his hand instead.

"And he actually... wanted to mate with me. He showed me his name on purpose. Apparently he thinks I’m awesome," he grins at Sam but he can’t hide the redness of his neck and ears.

Sam nods thoughtfully. "Uhm yeah, that... that makes sense. And it changes a lot of things, right? I mean your concern about consent."

Dean bows his head again and shoves a piece of the pie around the plate.

"Yeah. I also asked him whether the bond causes supernatural attraction or something but he said the bond has no effect. At least not yet."

When Sam doesn’t answer, Dean looks up to see his brother staring back with a cocked eyebrow.

"What? I was afraid the mojo was making me feel _things_!"

"You know, I think that if you're attracted to him, you would feel the same without the bond. The bond is the result of the attraction, not its cause." Sam makes it sound like they were talking about math and not Dean’s life.

"Yeah, that’s what he said." Dean rubs the back of his neck. He’s glad Sam is cool about the whole mating thing but he still feels embarrassed.

"So you _are_ attracted to him?"

Dean almost chokes on his pie. His first impulse is to deny everything, but he takes a deep breath and decides to face it instead.

"You saw him, the guy is hot."

Sam snorts. He isn’t surprised. He remembers that when Dean was in high school, he would fuck everything on two legs. Of course he eventually calmed down and stuck with girls, but Sam has always been suspicious that it had more to do with their father than with Dean’s actual preferences. He doesn’t know what _exactly_ John told him, but he remembers that he caught Dean making out with some boy in the impala. They had a big fight then but they sent Sam away. After that, John never looked at Dean the same and Dean never dated a guy again. He buried himself in manly things, girls and rock music, muscle cars and booze. After a while John seemed to forget, but Sam didn’t.

"I like him," Dean continues more seriously.

"There’s something different about him. And I don’t mean those huge wings, which are, by the way, really awesome. It’s just somehow endearing, the way he can enjoy simple things like a food processor." He chuckles, remembering recent events with Cas in the kitchen.

"And he has a strange kindness in him", Dean continues. “You can see it in his eyes and in the way he touches things with his long fingers. But on the other hand you still know he could kill you with his bare hands if he wanted." He’s silent for a moment, lost in his thoughts, then continues.

"And he wants to learn. He learns new things every day, he explores and he’s just so _alive_."

"Dean?"

"Yeah?" Dean looks at his brother as if he was caught red-handed.

"You are in love with him." He states it like an obvious fact.

"What? Ugh, don’t be such a girl, Sammy." Dean laughs and nervously runs his hand through his hair.

"Yeah you just spent a few minutes describing how it’s amazing that he likes food processor."

"I didn’t..."

"There were hearts in your eyes, Dean!"

"Shut up, bitch," he grunts and stuffs his mouth with the rest of the pie.

"Jerk." Sam grins at him, then he continues more seriously, "You know maybe... maybe _that’s_ the reason."

"For what?"

"That you’ve never been happy with anybody."

"What? Are you telling me my relationships sucked because I was waiting for an angel? No. That’s stupid."

He raises his hand when Sam takes a breath to object.

"I refuse to believe there’s some higher power that has decided who I will or won’t be with. No, I believe in free will. Anything else is bullshit."

Sam sighs but nods.

"Okay, Mr. Free Will, so did you finally make up your mind on what to do with him?"

"Yeah. I want to register him as NHC." Dean leans back on his chair, folding his arms on his chest, daring Sam to disagree.

NHC, non-human citizen, that’s what they called it when monsters got an official permission to live among humans.

Sam frowns, not even trying to hide his concern. His experience with the angel doesn’t convince him that he is suited for living with humans.

"Are you sure? Did he say he wanted it?"

"He said he wanted to stay with me. And if every bloodsucker or werewolf can be registered and live as a human, why can’t he?"

"Dean, he’s not even a known species." Sam’s voice is full of doubts.

"Well then we‘ll have to register him as a new species first!" Dean adds with determined pout.

"Dean... " Sam wants to make him listen to his reasons but his brother leans closer with his hands on the top of the table and looks Sam in the eyes.

"Sam, you always wanted to be a lawyer and you were always interested in monsters’ rights. You know that stuff. Will you help me please?"

Sam lets out a long sigh. It’s hard to refuse him anything when Dean uses his serious tone. It must be very important for him if he voluntarily asks his younger brother for help.

"Of course, Dean. But we should talk to Cas about it first."

"Okay! Let’s go ask him!" Dean slams his palm against the table, smiling widely.

"Wait, what?" Sam bursts out alarmed.

"Yeah I wanted you two to meet properly anyway. I’ll just buy him some pie and we can take off."

 

Sam stops him in front of the door.

"Hey, are you sure he won’t try to bite my head off again?"

"He didn’t... You just startled him, okay? And besides, he’s much more chill now," Dean argues, but when he sees the doubtful look on Sam’s face, he sighs and adds, "Okay, I'll let him know you're coming so he can brace himself."

"Yeah, thanks."

Dean rolls his eyes and unlocks the door.

"Hey, Cas!" He hears footsteps, then the angel appears with a bright smile.

"Hello, Dean."

"Hey, buddy. I brought you some pie."

"Thank you."

"And I brought Sam, my brother, with me. He’d like to meet you."

Cas’ eyes widen in panic.

"Now?"

"Yeah, he’s waiting outside. Shall I let him in?"

Cas rubs the back of his neck nervously, then nods.

Dean opens the door and his brother steps in hesitantly. Dean sees Cas drawing his wings closer to his back so he places a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

Sam steps closer and extends his hand to Cas.

"Hello, Castiel, it’s nice to meet you under better circumstances."

The angel looks at the offered hand, then he shifts uncomfortably.

"What is it, Cas?" Dean asks. The angel looks away shyly, then he leans closer to whisper into Dean’s ear.

The older Winchester stifles a chuckle.

"Sam, Cas is asking if he could smell you before he touches you."

"Oh-uh, yeah, of course." Sam bows down a little to let Cas sniff at his neck, which is apparently the best place to smell somebody, even though it’s awkward as hell.

When Castiel seems to be satisfied, he steps back and offers Sam his hand. The other man shakes it.

"Sam, I’m sorry for the last time." Cas says, the words still a bit clumsy on his tongue. Sam’s face lights up as if he’s just witnessed some kind of miracle. _Come on, Sam, his voice is awesome but not that much._

"That’s okay, Cas. You were just protecting your mate, right?"

Dean draws in a sharp breath, ready to snap at his brother, but the angel just nods.

"Yes, I was." He steps to Dean’s side, so close that their shoulders are brushing.

"Okay, so what if you go to the living room and I’ll grab us some beers? Cas, you can eat your pie while Sam tells you what he wants to tell you," Dean suggests before an uncomfortable silence has a chance to fall.

 

"So, Cas," the younger hunter starts when they are settled in the living room. "Dean told me you’d like to stay with him."

The angel nods, unwrapping the piece of pie.

"Dean wanted me to talk to you about an option there is for you." Sam waits for Cas to look at him. "You can get registered as a non-human citizen."

The angel tilts his head and nods at him to continue.

"That means you would have the same rights as a human. Well almost the same. You would be protected by the law, no one could hunt you."

"Really? Is that possible?" He looks at Dean who comes from the kitchen and hands Sam a beer.

"Yeah. You would have to prove that you are suitable for living among humans. They would do some tests and ask a lot of questions. But I’d help you with that," Dean pats Cas’ knee when he sits next to him on the couch.

"You would?" The angel smiles at him.

"Uhm, yeah, of course. If that’s what you want."

Cas turns to face Sam.

"Thank you, Sam. I would like that."

Sam promises to arrange all the formalities they’ll need, then they just chat while Cas eats his pie.

Sam’s presence makes Dean hyper aware of the way his and Cas’ knees touch or how the angel stares at his lips when he’s talking. Sam doesn’t say anything but the way he smiles as if he was watching a bunch of puppies makes it quite obvious what he thinks.

Later when he stops in the doorway and turns to Dean, Dean’s sure he’s going to say something that will make him want to punch his face.

"No, please don’t. Don’t say anything," he growls and pinches the bridge of his nose. He earns himself a bitchface.

"I just wanted to tell you not to be a pussy and go for it," Sam grumbles and slams the door behind himself.

Dean sighs and leans his forehead against the door.

"Dean? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I’m great." He shoots Cas a forced smile. The angel narrows his eyes but doesn’t say anything.

"Do you want to go for a walk or something?"

"Yes, that would be nice."

 

Dean helps Castiel tuck his wings under the trench coat. He will probably never be able to walk the streets with his wings exposed without drawing unwanted attention, but one day it might at least be  safe for him. When they walk to the park, Dean watches him, thinking about how much he’s changed. He’s still not human and he’s still a bit awkward, but since he’s started to speak, he’s much more open. He’s not exactly a Chatty Cathy but even his face is more expressive. It almost seems like he‘s started to _feel_ differently than before.

Sometimes Dean catches him staring. The way Castiel looks at him makes his heart do some weird acrobatic stunts. There’s hope in his eyes and something like a deep interest, as if he wants to take even the smallest detail of Dean in. And not only his face but the whole of him - his damned soul and fucked up past and just everything. It scares Dean. It actually scares the shit out of him. He’s sure no one has ever looked at him like this.

The deep rumble of Cas’ voice startles him.

"Thank you, Dean."

"Ugh?"

"For the reg... regi..."

"Registration. Yeah, no problem. I’m the one who dragged you out of the woods, it’s kind of my responsibility."

"Thank you. For that. For taking me home that night."

They come to a halt under a tall tree, which casts shadows on their faces. The sun had set a few minutes ago and in the dusk Dean can see a bright blue sparkle in Cas’ eyes. They dart to his lips and in that moment Dean realizes they are standing so close that their breaths mingle.

He looks at Cas’ lips and for a moment he remembers how soft they felt on his, even though the kiss was rough. He shakes his head to shoo the thought.

"Cas I - " He needs to clear his throat because the words seem to get stuck there. "Cas, I don’t think you're doing the right thing."

The angel tilts his head, resembling a huge bird.

"What do you mean?" He sounds hurt and it makes Dean’s stomach twist.

"You trust me too much. You don’t know me, you don’t know how fucked up I am. I’m not the right person to bind your life with. I’m not... I’m not mate material."

"Dean." His voice is so soft it makes Dean melt. He doesn’t flinch when the angel raises his hand to cup his face.

"You think you’re the first person I‘ve ever met? I’ve been alive for millennia. I've known lots of people, angels and humans. I've seen things... I've _done_ things you couldn’t imagine. You don’t even know what fucked up means. You’re afraid you might corrupt me but you saved me."

Dean stares at him, his heart beats so hard he’s sure he’ll have bruises on his ribs.

"I haven’t felt so alive for so long... And I've _never_ felt what I feel for you. No one ever was as worthy as you are."

Dean shuts his eyes and leans into the touch, but he clenches his teeth. Cas isn’t right, but it’s so good to hear these things.

"You’re a good man, Dean. Righteous and kind-hearted. I chose you. So let me, _please_ , at least try to prove you wrong. To show you that you’re _the best_ mate for me."

Dean takes a few steadying breaths, then he takes Cas’ hand into his.

"Let’s go home."

 

They spend the night as usual. They eat some leftovers and watch TV for a while. They talk, which is still new and surprising for Dean. Cas asks about lots of things, some of them are really awkward (Dean never thought he would have to explain a tampon commercial). Sometimes Dean can’t help himself and laughs at Cas’ confused questions. It’s really hard not to kiss Cas’ pout away.

When they’re both yawning and rubbing at their eyes, Dean calls it a night.

"Hey, Cas, would you like to sleep," He trails off, fumbling for the right words, "in the bedroom tonight?"

It looks like the angel is struggling to keep his excitement under control. He smiles softly and nods.

 

When Dean comes out of the bathroom he sees that Cas is curled on the bed, wings wrapped around himself like a blanket.

Dean slips between the sheets on his side, avoiding eye contact even though he feels Cas’ eyes on him.

The heavy silence is broken by a rustle of feathers when Cas shifts uncomfortably. Dean looks at him and remembers the first night. He gives the angel an encouraging nod and Castiel drapes one wing over his chest.

He automatically runs his fingers through the feathers, eliciting a contented sound from Cas. He feels the tension drain from Cas’ body and relaxes himself.

"You like when I touch your wings, don’t you?"

"You like touching them."

Dean huffs out a laugh and turns his head to look at Cas, sliding his hand over the curve of the wing. They stare into each other's eyes. Cas' eyes have a soft glow in them, as if there's some light source inside. The only sound in the room is their calm breathing. Dean realizes that normally in a situation like this, there would be millions of thoughts running through his head. But not now. The only thing he can focus on right now are Cas’ eyes and feathers under his palm.

 _Screw it_ , is his last thought before he moves his hand from Cas’ wings to his naked back, then up into the hair on the back of his head. Cas’ eyes widen and his breath hitches. Dean’s eyes dart to his slightly parted lips. He leans closer.

"I’m going to kiss you, okay?"

The angel swallows and nods ever so slightly.

Dean realizes there’s no way back when he presses his lips to Castiel’s. The kiss is nothing like the last one. It’s not rushed and desperate. It’s slow and experimental. It’s a kiss with no other intention, with no other purpose than to be a perfect kiss. Cas’ lips are soft and warm and his tongue is driving Dean crazy. When they finally part, they’re both panting. Dean stares into Cas’ eyes and realizes that he's pulled the angel closer, because Castiel is now lying on top of him. He sighs and kisses him again, short and chaste this time.

The angel makes a purring sound and nuzzles into the crook of Dean’s neck.

Dean chuckles softly and runs his hand down Cas’ muscled back. He lets his palm rest on the small of his back, his thumb rubbing little circles on his skin. Castiel’s body fits perfectly to his. There’s always been a tension in his muscles, as if he was always ready to defend himself. But it’s gone now. He’s absolutely relaxed now. He feels safe, he feels right. Dean knows because he feels the same. The sense of rightness is filling his chest like a warm light. He smiles when he hears Cas snore softly.


	5. Chapter 5

_Dean is flying. What’s more surprising than the fact that he’s flying, is that he’s not scared. Maybe it’s because he’s not in one of those metal caskets people call planes. He’s using his own wings. They are beating powerfully against the air. He feels good, adrenaline running through his veins. He’s free._

 

Dean blinks his eyes open. Castiel stirs by his side and looks at him, eyelids still heavy with sleep.

"Good morning, Angel."

Castiel blinks and snuggles closer against him, wrapping his wings around both of them.

Dean chuckles and places his hand between Cas’ wings. "I thought you were supposed to be a dangerous creature, not cuddly like a kitten."

"Shut up," the angel mumbles and hides his face against Dean’s chest.

"Cas? Were you dreaming about flying?"

Castiel looks up at him. "Yes, I was."

"I saw it. I was there."

Castiel props himself on his elbow so he can look at Dean.

"You were dream walking."

"Uhm. Is it the bond?"

Castiel nods. "It’s getting stronger."

Dean cocks one eyebrow. "After one kiss?"

Castiel shrugs and looks away. "I think it’s because you finally accepted it."

Dean doesn’t know what to say, so he just stares at Cas’ face, taking in every detail of his lips and jaw line and long dark eyelashes.

Cas snaps his head around. "Will you kiss me again?"

Dean’s taken aback. He gasps a little before he answers with another question.

"You like it?"

"I find kissing you very pleasurable, yes."

Dean laughs under his breath and strokes Cas’ cheekbone.

"You don’t have to ask me. You can kiss me whenever you want."

"Are you sure?" Cas raises his eyebrow. His eyes are wide and bright and his cheeks are flushed a little.

Dean huffs out a breath. "Yeah, Cas, I’m-" The angel doesn’t even let him finish and presses a soft kiss to his lips.

 

Dean has always been more of a love 'em and leave 'em kind of guy, but look at him now, taking it slow with an angel. They share little affectionate touches and soft kisses, they sleep curled up together, but that's all. The weirdest part is that Dean is content. He doesn't need anything else.

 

He becomes more aware of the presence of the bond. It's like a soft buzz in the back of his mind, getting stronger whenever Cas is near. It was always quite easy to guess how the angel feels thanks to his wings, which reflect every emotion, but it's even easier now. And Dean knows it goes both ways - whenever he's in distress, the angel comes to comfort him, brushing his wings against Dean’s back or kissing his cheek. Even his mere presence is comforting, it makes Dean feel whole. He never realized that there was an empty space in his heart, maybe left by his mother, that no one ever managed to fill in. No one but the angel.

It's also sort of terrifying. Dean has always been scared of commitment and now he's kind of married. He thinks about it every time he's out of the bond's reach. Part of him is still afraid that he did the dumbest thing in his life. He's afraid he will fuck up, or that he'll get hurt (of course he wouldn't admit it, but that doesn't make it any less true). He's nervous and tense when he doesn't feel the bond. At first he thinks it's because he can't be sure Cas is alright. Then he realizes that being near Cas is like being high and he's addicted. He doesn't care.

 

There's a lot of things he has to care about. The registration. They agreed to state Sam as the one who discovered the new species. (Dean would swear he saw tears in the nerd's eyes). There's a lot of paperwork to fill out and when it's done they receive an invitation to the Institute of Supernatural Beings. They tuck Cas' wings into his trenchcoat and have him seated in the Impala, even though it's pretty uncomfortable. The journey to the institute isn’t that bad. In the relative safety of the car Cas’ curiosity wins over his fear and he has his nose pressed to the window, watching the world passing behind it. He comments on everything that catches his attention be it a tall building or a weird dog. He’s stunned by bicycles. He also grumpily remarks that flying is much more comfortable than riding in a vehicle.

His good mood vanishes when they stop in front of the huge institute building . Dean understands why, the building has the hostile air of a hospital around it. It’s even worse when they enter. Everything is sterile and cold, it smells of metal and disinfectant.

Castiel doesn't like it. Dean can feel his anxiety through the bond. He tries to tug at the connection and send him some reassurance. He tries to remember the calm feeling he has when they are alone, the feeling of safety, of rightness, and push it to the back of his mind where he imagines they’re connected. He's not sure whether it works or not.

The receptionist tells them to wait, and a few minutes later the scientist they have an appointment with appears.

"The Winchesters?" He's a short guy who looks like he never gets enough sleep.

"Hello, I'm Chuck." He shakes hands with Sam and motions to a blonde girl, who's staring at Sam as if he was made of pure gold.

"This is my assistant Becky." She blushes furiously and shakes Sam's hand with a bright smile.

When Chuck turns to Dean, he shakes his head subtly and fortunately Chuck gets the hint. Castiel is almost pressed to Dean's back. He's on edge and might snap if anyone came near him or Dean.

As Chuck and Becky lead them to Chuck's lab, Dean takes Cas' hand and squeezes. Castiel takes a deep breath, trying to calm down.

"Oh shit!" Chuck breathes out when Cas takes off his coat and spreads his wings. They're ruffled and Dean knows Cas is holding them in a threatening posture. He growls when the scientist walks around him, admiring his wings, but Chuck doesn’t seem to notice.

"Okay, so your paperwork was alright, so we'll just get some blood samples and then let you go." He motions to a chair on the other side of the room. There are various tools on a table beside the chair that remind Dean of how much he doesn't like doctors. He turns at Castiel who stares back at him with wide eyes. It's as if Dean heard him screaming _“no“_ in his head. He takes a step towards the angel, but Castiel moves back and wraps his wings around himself.

Dean feels it. He feels how much Castiel hates this small room with no windows. It makes him feel trapped. He doesn't like the proximity of unfamiliar people and most of all, he doesn't want to let anybody touch him with those tools. The bond buzzes with distress and it takes Dean a lot of self control not to send everybody to hell, grab Castiel and get him out of here as fast as possible.

He takes a deep breath and tries to soothe Cas through the bond. He reaches his hand to brush Cas' wings. The angel cringes and Dean sends him another wave of reassurance. This time he imagines stroking Cas’ feathers gently and it seems to work better than the first time.

The angel looks at him and lets him touch his feathers.

"Come on Cas. No one's gonna hurt you when I'm here. They'll just take a few drops of your blood, you won't even feel it, I promise."

Castiel tugs his wings behind his back and lets Dean lead him to the chair.

Becky comes closer to get the tools ready. The syringe falls from her hands when Cas hisses at her. She gives a squeal of fear that makes the angel even more agitated. He beats his wings and tries to get away. Dean has to use both hands and all the soothing words he knows to push him back into the chair.

"Is this really necessary?" Sam asks with concern as he watches the scared assistant and stressed out angel.

"I'm afraid so," Chuck answers and steps closer to the chair, ready to take the samples himself.

"Maybe you should do it yourself." Becky turns to Dean. "If you know how," she adds and looks at Chuck for confirmation. The scientist nods.

"He seems to trust you."

Dean looks back at Castiel's pale face. It hurts him to see his mate like this.

"Do you want me to do it?"

Castiel shakes his head; he’s clinging to Dean’s jacket so tight that his knuckles turned white.

"Cas come on, it’s me or them. We need to do this and then we’re free to go, right?“ He looks at Chuck who shrugs.

"I would love to take more tests, do some scans but it’s not necessary for the registration."

"See? When we get through this, we go home and you get your papers. Just this one thing. We need it so you can stay with me. It’s what you want, right?"

The angel nods slightly and loosens his grip but he doesn’t relax. Dean clenches his teeth and imagines they are alone in the room. It’s hard not to care that there are people looking at them but if he wants Castiel to overcome his fear, he needs to do the same. He leans in and kisses Castiel, soft and chaste, but it’s enough for the angel to finally loosen up.

“Okay, I’ll do it. Tell me what to do,“ he orders and Becky quickly obeys, careful not to come near to the angel who’s breathing heavily with his eyes shut.

"Could you leave us alone?" Dean asks when he knows everything he needs.

Chuck bites his thumb nervously. "I probably shouldn't, but who cares. Let's go," he motions to the others and they leave the room.

"Thank you," Cas breathes out and Dean realizes it's the first thing he said since they got off the car.

"I'm sorry you have to go through this, but it'll be over soon." Dean squeezes his hand, brings it to his lips and presses a kiss to Cas' knuckles. The angel huffs out a laugh and Dean brushes his hair off of his forehead, smiling brightly.

"Okay, let's get started."

 

When they finally get home, Cas sheds his coat and curls up on the bed. Dean lies next to him and pulls him closer. He kisses the top of his head.

"You did great, Cas."

"I was being a coward," Cas mutters into Dean's chest.

"No, you weren't. People hurt you in the past. It's understandable that you're afraid of them. What's important is that you did it anyway."

Castiel sighs and snuggles closer.

"I'll make you pancakes as a reward, okay?"

"No," Castiel shakes his head. "Stay here with me."

  

A few days later Sam gets a letter informing him that the new species was registered and Cas can now apply for his NHC status. There’s a love letter from Becky attached, which makes Sam blush and Jess laugh.

They insist on celebrating. Dean isn’t sure about it, it's been stressful for Cas to be among people lately. Dean wants to give him some peace, but Sam reminds him that the NHC registration will require much more talking to people and Cas should get used to it. Cas agrees that his "people skills are rusty" and he needs to practice, and besides, he wants to meet Sam’s mate. So Sam and Jess are invited for a dinner.

 

To Dean’s surprise the dinner goes well. Cas seems relaxed in Sam and Jess’ company. She offers to help Dean clear the dishes from the table and serve the pie.

"You’re so lucky!" she squeals when they’re alone in the kitchen.

"Sam didn’t tell me he was so hot!"

"Uhm, yeah," Dean rubs the back of his neck.

"And his wings, oh my god. Did he let you touch them?"

"He did," Dean mumbles, eyes fixed on the pie he’s cutting up.

"So the whole mate business is going well?"

He feels his ears burning. "Uhm, Jess-" he groans.

"Okay, okay. I’m gonna ask for details when you’re drunk."

"You’re a terrible woman, you know that?"

"I’m not! I’m awesome! Even your angel likes me."

"Yeah, that kinda surprised me. He’s usually much more reserved with new people."

"Yeah, Sam told me how he reacted to him."

Dean nods and scoops vanilla ice-cream onto some plates.

"I really wonder why is it that you two get along so well. I mean, he’s getting used to be around people, fine. But I really didn’t expect him to be so relaxed."

"It’s because I’m awesome."

"Hmm, do you really believe that?" Dean cocks an eyebrow teasingly.

"You know what? Let’s ask him!" She grabs two plates with apple pie and ice-cream and heads to the living room.

"Hey Cas, I was wondering how come that you're so comfortable with Jess being here."

Sam straightens in his seat, he was apparently thinking about the same.

"Is it about her being a woman? Like she’s less of a threat?" he suggests, and ignores Jess’ angry pout.

"No. Female angels are just as fierce as male angels. And I know that human females can be pretty dangerous, especially when they protect their young."

"So it’s simply because I’m awesome?"

Cas smiles softly. "Well, yes, I simply like you. There’s also something really soothing about the smell of a pregnant person. And you remind me of one of my sisters." Cas freezes when he realizes that everyone is staring at him speechless.

He leans to Dean and whispers, "Did I say something wrong?"

Sam finally breaths out. "Jess? Did you know?"

"I didn’t want to tell you before I was absolutely sure!" she burst out, eyes wide with panic.

"I’m seeing my doctor tomorrow."

"Oh my god." Sam wraps his long arms around her waist and lifts her up. She chuckles and wraps her legs around him.

"I love you so much," he sighs, burying his face in her curly hair.

"Uhm, I’m sorry. It was inappropriate," Cas says, leaning to Dean who just turns at him with a bright smile.

"That’s okay," he chuckles and hooks his arm around Cas’ shoulders. "It’s actually pretty awesome."

Cas smiles shyly and Dean presses a kiss to his forehead.

 

They celebrate. Dean and Sam are drinking while Cas and Jess talk quietly about angel babies. Dean isn’t paying attention to it, too busy trying to make Sam promise him to name his son after him. Sam agrees that he’ll name his daughter after him and it ends up with a brotherly wrestling match. Jess has to hold Castiel back and explain that they’re not really fighting, so he doesn’t have to defend his man.

It’s all strangely domestic and when Sam with Jess leave, Dean feels buzzed and happy. Cas drags him to bed, insisting that they can clean up tomorrow.

"You’re happy," Cas says when they lie face to face in bed.

"Yeah, I am. I’ll be an uncle! Uncle Dean, it’s awesome."

Cas returns Dean’s bright smile and moves his fingers through his hair.

"I like you happy," he purrs. Dean shuts his eyes and gently strokes Cas’ wing, that is draped over his body.

"What about you? Did you have a nice time?"

"Yes. I almost forgot how it feels to have a family."

Dean pulls him closer and kisses his temple.

"Now you have one."


	6. Chapter 6

The pain wakes him up from the nightmare. It takes him a few seconds to realize that the cause of the pain was Cas’ elbow hitting his ribs. He looks at the angel, who’s staring at the ceiling, eyes unfocused as if he's still half asleep. His forehead is glistening with sweat, his breath is ragged and he’s shaking.

"Cas?" He touches his shoulder tentatively and the angel jerks.

"Dean," his voice breaks as he pulls Dean into his arms.

"Hey baby, relax. What’s wrong?"

"The smoke, the fire," Cas sobs. Dean feels hot tears on his neck. Realization hits him and his throat tightens.

"It was just a dream," he says soothingly, rubbing Cas’ shoulder.

"No it wasn’t! It happened!" Cas half sobs, half yells.

"I know that it happened! Your mom-" He sniffs. "And Sammy, I was so scared for Sammy."

"I know, I know Cas, but it’s over now. Sammy is safe. We’re safe."

Cas presses a hot wet kiss to his lips. Dean blinks.

"What was that for?"

"I will never let such thing happen to you again. Never, I’ll protect you."

He’s staring at him with his glowing eyes and he’s squeezing his shoulder painfully. He’s serious. Dean feels it through the bond. He knows that Cas would protect him fiercely with his whole life.

He shouldn’t let him. He’s able to take care of himself. He doesn’t need an angel to watch over him. But when he looks in the electric blue glow and when he breaths in the smell of thunderstorm, he knows he wants it. He wants to let Cas protect him.

"Okay," he nods. "We can keep each other safe."

Castiel shuts his eyes and lets out a long breath. He nods, a little, a soft smile on his lips and Dean has a feeling that this simple sentence means more to the angel than he understands. Then it hits him. This is it, this is him accepting Cas as his mate. It wasn’t when he told him he could stay, it wasn’t when they kissed for the first time or when they started to share bed. It’s this, letting Cas take care of him and promising to do the same. It’s sharing the darkest memories and the biggest fears. The realization fills Dean’s heart with so many emotions it feels like his heart can’t contain them. He lets out a shaky sigh and runs his fingers through Cas’ messy hair.

"We should sleep now."

"Yes, we should," Cas whispers and nuzzles at Dean’s neck. His lips graze over Dean’s skin. Dean closes his eyes, his heart still pounding too hard in his chest. He tries to melt into the warmth of Cas’ body, to relax enough to be able to fall asleep again. It gets even harder when he feels Cas’ palm skim over the muscles of his back and his lips nibble at his earlobe. Cas never touched him, not in this way. They hug and they kiss, Dean learned very fast that physical contact makes the angel feel safe and he’s been always willing to give it to him, even though he’s not really the one for cuddling.

But now Cas’ hands are exploring, fingers digging into flesh, blunt nails scraping at the nape of his neck and it sends sparks down Dean’s spine right to his lower belly.

Dean’s hands decide to go along with the program on their own volition. They find their way between Cas’ shoulder blades and into his hair. The angel moans into Dean’s mouth. Dean’s lips move to Cas’ jaw and travel down to his neck and collar bones. The angel mumbles something Dean doesn’t understand, but the tone of Cas’ voice makes his dick twitch anyway. He circles one dark nipple with his tongue and sucks it into his mouth. He hears Cas draw in his breath sharply. He must like it, judging by the fact that he immediately reaches for Dean’s nipple and rubs it between his fingertips. Dean lets out a moan and pushes their lips together. He grabs Cas’ ass and pulls his hips closer until he feels the hard length of Cas’ cock against his hip.

The angel gasps and pushes himself away, looking embarrassed.

"Hey, it’s okay," Dean breathes out. "I mean... we don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. But if you do want it, I’m okay with it."

"I don’t." Dean’s heart sinks with disappointment, but then the angel continues. "I don’t know how. I never-"

"You...uh, you’ve never been with anyone? Not even with an angel?"

Castiel rubs his neck embarrassed. "Look, I've never had occasion, okay?"

"Oh yeah, no, I mean okay. It’s okay," Dean can’t fight back a chuckle. "Oh my god, I found myself a virgin angel, I can’t believe it."

Cas shoots him an angry look so he clears his throat and tries to look at least a bit more serious.

"It’s okay Cas. I can show you," he rubs Cas’ hip gently. "We can take it slow. One step at the time. If you want."

The angel hesitates, still too ashamed. Dean leans closer and kisses the soft spot behind his ear before he whispers: "You did really great so far."

Cas finally looks at him with a sparkle in his eyes. Dean kisses him, slow and gentle at first, but then the previous fervor comes back and they’re kissing each other breathless. This time it’s Cas who grinds their hips together. Dean grabs fistfuls of Cas’ feathers. The angel throws his head back, baring his throat for Dean to kiss and nibble. Castiel’s skin is so hot Dean thinks he might burn his lips, he’s sure Cas’ fingers leave red marks on his skin. And how he smells. Oh god, he smells so good. Like a summer night after a storm, with the spicy undertone of Dean’s shampoo. A needy sound leaves the angel’s soft lips and fills Dean’s head with a cotton-like haze. He doesn’t know what needs are his own and which ones are just the bond telling him how much Castiel wants him. All he can think is _need_ , _want_ and _Cas_. The sounds Cas makes shoot straight to his cock, every little growl and whine makes him shiver. He needs more, he wants to make the angel come undone. He reaches between them to rub Cas' cock through his pants.

"Dean," Cas moans and digs his fingers into the flesh of Dean’s shoulders.

"Shh. I got you," Dean whispers and presses a soft kiss to his lips, stroking him harder. When their lips part, Cas presses their foreheads together, fingers tangled in Dean’s hair. His eyes are closed and lips shaking, he’s breathing in short gasps. He won’t last long, Dean knows it. He’s bucking his hips, thrusting into Dean’s palm, searching for friction.

"Look at me, Castiel," he whispers and when the angel obeys, his eyes are glowing so bright that the only thing Dean can see is electric blue.

It’s like somebody touched his brain with electric wire. The little part of his mind that is still able of coherent thoughts tells him it must be the bond.

Only when he hears Cas’ groan and feels wetness under his palm does he realize that Cas has come.

The angel has his face pressed into the crook of Dean’s neck and is panting softly. Dean runs his hand through his hair.

He’s still hard and aching but he doesn’t care. All he cares about is the angel in his arms and his blissed out smile.

"You should change into clean pants," he says, but the angel shakes his head. Dean feels Cas’ fingers graze softly over the bulge in his pants and he gasps.

"You don’t have to."

"I want to." The angel presses a soft kiss to his jaw while he strokes him. "Just tell me if I do it right," he adds.

"Oh yeah, you’re doing great." Dean bites his lip to stifle a moan, but Cas strokes harder and he can’t help but throw his head back and groan loudly.

"So good," he breathes out.

Cas stares at him, intently categorizing every sound he elicits from Dean, trying to find out which kind of touch works the best. He hums contently when he sucks on Dean’s nipple and makes the man writhe on the bed. Dean’s surprised that he doesn’t feel embarrassed. He actually likes the attention, he likes that Cas’ only focus is pleasing him.

Cas swallows his moans kissing him sloppily. Dean pulls his hair and the angel growls. The deep rumbling sound vibrates through Dean’s bones and it sends him right over the edge.

He cries out Cas’ name when he comes into his pants. He snuggles closer to his angel, feeling spent and sleepy. Castiel yawns and wraps his wings around him.

"You said something about clean clothes," he mumbles.

"Just a minute," Dean answers grumpily and nuzzles into the crook of Cas’ neck.

"In a minute I’ll be asleep."

"Okay," Dean groans and gets out of bed reluctantly. He throws a pair of pajama pants at Cas and takes his own pants off using them to clean himself. He crawls back to Cas who changed his pants and is already snoring softly. He pulls him into his arms and kisses his forehead. The angel smiles sweetly.

"Good night," Dean whispers. He wants to add something, something that would express how important this night was for him. Not the handjob part, even though it was awesome, but the time spent with his family, Cas learning about his past and promising to protect him. The only words that come to his mind are too big, too scary. He decides to use just one word, knowing that it might be even stronger, but it’s the most appropriate.

" _Mate_."

 

* * *

 

Dean explained to Cas that the registration involved a counselor that would come to see him and help him prepare himself. Cas actually looked quite excited to meet more new people. That’s why Dean doesn’t expect, that when the scrawny guy with big ears and even bigger smile knocks on their door and introduces himself as Garth Fitzgerald IV, Cas goes ballistic.

"Get away from him!" he growls when Garth shakes Dean’s hand. Cas grabs Dean’s shoulder and makes him take a step back so he can get between them, wings spread and ruffled.

"Cas, come on. It’s the counselor! I told you he'd come." He reaches for Cas’ wings to soothe him but the angel shakes his hand off.

"He’s a werewolf, Dean," Cas explains with a disdain in his voice, staring Garth in the eyes.

The counselor doesn’t even flinch. "Yes, I am."

"Why should I get advice from a vicious, bloodthirsty creature?"

Dean takes a breath to say something, but Garth doesn’t need anyone to defend him.

"Maybe because I went through the registration myself? Because I know how it feels to be different. To face prejudice. To deal with people who treat you like a monster without even knowing you."

Castiel drops his wings and bows his head, but doesn’t say a thing.

"I never killed anyone. I was dying, that’s why I let my wife turn me. We’re both registered and both vegetarians."

"I’m sorry," Castiel says and raises his eyes. Garth gives him a bright smile.

"That’s okay, buddy. Now let me in so I can help you."

 

Garth tells him what to expect from the registration. That there will be some testing, then an interview in front of a committee. It feels a bit like a trial to Dean and he’s going to vouch for Castiel.

"Are you two together?" Garth asks.

"Yes, is it a problem?" Dean answers coldly. Garth shakes his head and smiles at him.

"No, it’s quite common that the applicant is in a relationship with the person who vouches for them. They may ask personal questions, I want you to be prepared for it."

"Like what?" Dean asks.

"Like how your relationship started. How long  you've been together, et cetera."

"Ugh." Dean rubs the back of his neck nervously. Cas looks at him with worry.

"Dean? You think the bonding might be a problem?"

"Bonding? What bonding?" Garth looks at him curiously.

"When I found him, I performed a mating ritual. It was an accident, I thought I was taming him. My brother made a mistake in a translation."

"So there’s some kind of a mental bond between the two of you that was made accidentally? That doesn’t sound like a love story the committee would like to hear."

"But it was consensual," Cas objects and squeezes Dean’s hand.

"I wanted him to do it. I wouldn’t let him if I didn’t want to."

"But Dean didn’t want to be bonded, right?" Garth turns to Dean and raises an eyebrow.

"That’s right. But the bond didn’t influence how I felt about Cas. It actually couldn’t even be formed properly without feelings on both sides, right Cas?"

The angel nods.

"So it was absolutely consensual," Dean adds.

"Are you sure about it? How can you tell that you’re not saying this because he’s controlling your mind?"

"Because I just know, okay? I did things that hurt him, why would he let me do them if he had control over me? I know what the bond does because I feel it growing stronger every day. It only makes a connection and it goes both ways. I can feel how terrified he is right now but I can’t change it, I can’t tell him what to think or want to do."

Garth just stares at them for a moment, then he sighs.

"I believe you, guys. But someone might poke into it and there’s no way to prove your words."

"Why would they do that?" Dean frowns.

"Because the ability of mind control would make him dangerous."

"Why would I admit that we have the bond then?"

"That’s a good point, Castiel. But I’m not sure it will be enough."

"The book!" Dean bursts out excitedly.

"The book where Sam found the ritual," Dean adds when they give him confused looks.

"There might be something more about it, that he wasn’t able to translate. If it says how the bond works, we could use it, right?" he looks at Garth hopefully.

"Yeah, it might help. Work on it and I'll  try to find out if there’s a way to prove if someone is under mind control or not."

 

Garth gives them some more advice and gives them some books that should help them prepare themselves for the tests and the interview. He leaves with a bright smile and a pat on Dean’s shoulder. He promises to come to see them again and wishes them good luck.

"Don’t worry, Cas, the bond won’t be an issue, I promise." Dean says when he sees how miserable Cas looks and pulls him into a hug.

"You don’t know that. It’s something they don’t know. It will scare them."

"Maybe, but-" Cas interrupts him with a nervous flap of wings.

"Today I called a really nice man a monster just because I didn’t know him. Fear is a natural reaction to unknown." Cas draws his wings close to his back, which Dean recognizes as a sign of anxiety. He runs his hand over the feathers soothingly but doesn’t say anything, waiting for Cas to continue.

"I realized that when the people attacked me in the woods, it was because they were just scared. And maybe they had a good reason. Maybe I really am a monster."

"Come on, Cas, don’t talk like that. You’re one of the nicest beings I ever met."

Castiel looks at him with sorrow and guilt in his eyes. "I killed people, Dean. Angels and humans too."

"Why?" Dean asks after a moment of heavy silence.

"There was a war between angels. Some of them used humans as soldiers."

Dean nods. "There were a lot of wars in human history and the soldiers are often treated as heroes. Fighting in a war doesn’t make you a monster."

Cas shakes his head, eyes closed. "It doesn’t matter why I killed them. It only matters that I did."

"I killed someone too," Dean says and Cas looks at him.

"It was a young woman. I was sure she was the rugaru responsible for a string of killings. She was a human. An innocent."

"It was an accident."

"It was a mistake. It was a terrible mistake and I will never forget about it. I learned to ask first and shoot later. And I forgave myself so I could move on and save as many innocents as possible even though it won’t get her life back."

"You think I should do penance?"

"If you think it will help you. I think you should forgive yourself. You’re not a monster."

"Thank you, Dean."

Dean just smiles and kisses his forehead.

 

* * *

 

"I’m bored, Dean," Cas moans and stretches his wings. They’ve been sitting on the couch and studying for the registration for nearly two hours.

"Come on, Cas. Just those two pages and than we can take a break."

"I’m tired," the angel whines again and reaches for the papers in Dean’s hand. The hunter pulls his hand away.

"Hey!"

"I don’t want to study anymore." Cas tries to snatch the papers again and Dean hides them behind his back. Castiel wraps his hands around his middle, chuckling, while Dean tries to dodge him. He grabs the papers again and holds them above his head, grinning triumphantly when Cas stretches to grab them but his arms are too short. His smile falters when Cas moves to straddle his lap. His breath hitches in his throat and he lowers his hand. Cas snatches the papers and throws them on the floor.

"Much better," he says contently, wriggling his ass to make himself comfortable. Dean feels his face getting hot. He must be beet red and Cas must have noticed because he cocks his head with a vicious smile.

"So what now?" he asks and places his hands on Dean’s shoulders.

"We should...practice the interview," Dean stutters, staring into the bluest eyes he’s ever seen.

"The interview?" Cas cocks an eyebrow and moves his hips again. Dean stiffens a groan and throws his head back.

"Yeah, you should tell me about our first meeting. Why did you think it was a good idea to mate with me."

"Why should I tell you that?"

"They may ask. You need to know what to tell them."

"Well, I would tell them, that I watched you all day from a distance," Cas starts. The mischievous bastard keeps his voice low, in the way he knows makes Dean shiver.

"I watched you track me. You were clever and skillful." Cas traces the muscles of Dean’s arms and chest with his hands.

"I liked how you talked to your brother. It was clear you care about him a lot." He runs his long fingers through Dean’s hair. The hunter shuts his eyes and sighs.

"And then?" he asks.

"Then you found me and I could look at you properly. And you were beautiful. Your eyes, your lips," he almost whispers now, stroking Dean’s lower lip with the pad of his thumb.

"And you smelled so good. You smelled just right." He nuzzles at Dean’s neck and Dean starts when he feels Cas’ hot wet tongue on his skin, just over the pulse point on his neck.

Cas looks at him, eyes half lidded and Dean just stares, hands on Cas’ hips.

"You were strong and I was injured. When I realized you were going to perform the mating ritual, I was scared." Cas leans closer, lips just a hair’s breath away from Dean’s.

"I was so scared. But I couldn’t resist. I had to show you my name and let you mate with me," he whispers and Dean can’t hold back anymore. He pulls him into a deep kiss. He wraps his arms around Cas’ middle and pulls him closer. The angel moans into the kiss and rolls his hips. Dean gasps.

"Cas," he moans against Cas’ lips, digging his fingers into the flesh of Cas’ muscled back.

"Dean", Cas answers and he sounds just as desperate as Dean feels. He kisses him again, grabbing his hips and shows him how to move to make it feel good. Oh yes, it feels so good, but it’s not enough.

"Dean, please," the angel begs when their lips part for a moment.

Dean groans and sucks at Cas’ neck. He fumbles with the zipper of his pants. Cas watches his fingers with wide eyes. It’s so adorable that Dean has to stop and kiss him once more. Then he lifts his hips and Cas lifts himself up too, so Dean can pull his pants and underwear down. The look on Cas’ face when he sees Dean’s flushed hard cock makes Dean ache. He gently takes Cas’ hand and leads it to touch him, he shows Cas how to wrap his fingers around him.

"Oh fuck, Cas," he breathes out and lets his head fall back. The angel strokes him gently and Dean’s hips move on their own volition. He tries to thrust into Cas’ fist but Cas’ weight doesn’t let him move.

"Take these off," he murmurs into Cas’ ear and hooks his thumbs under the waistband of Cas’ sweatpants.

Cas gets up and slowly pulls the pants down his perfect hips. Dean swallows thickly. Cas steps out of his clothes and then Dean has a lap full of naked angel.

Cas presses himself as close as possible and shudders a bit at the skin to skin contact. His hot breath grazes over Dean’s shoulder. Dean lets his hands skim up Cas’ strong thighs and rubs his sharp hipbones with his thumbs while kissing his jaw. He wants to learn every curve and angle of Cas’ body, to caress every inch of his smooth skin. When he finally reaches between Cas’ shoulder blades and then runs his fingers through the soft feathers of Cas’ wings, the angel groans loudly and starts to rock his hips rhythmically.

"Oh yes, Cas. So good," Dean whispers between pants when their cocks slide against each other.

He looks at Castiel’s face and sees the wild creature he is. Hungry for pleasure, driven by lust and need. He moves on instinct, grinding and rocking. Dean’s name tumbles from his parted lips, swollen from kissing and Dean grabs the back of his head and pulls him in, licking into his mouth.

He wraps his hand around both of them. Cas lets out a soft sound of pleasure.

"Good?" Dean asks. The angel mumbles something in Enochian. His hand joins Dean’s, their fingers overlapping as their entwined hands stroke them both.

"So good, Dean," he moans. Dean can tell he’s close by the way he breathes in short pants. His thighs start to tremble and his whole body tenses. The feathers on his spread wings are ruffled.

Dean reaches to the base of his wings and strokes the soft skin there, then he finds the oil gland.

The angel cries out and throws his head back. He’s so beautiful like this. If Dean knew how, he would carve his body out of marble, he would paint him in the brightest colors, he would write odes to him.

"Dean, please. Please!" the angel begs for release.

"Shh, I’ve got you," Dean whispers as he strokes them faster. His own breath hitches and his hips buck up toward Cas’ moves. Cas wraps his arms tightly around Dean’s neck, fingers buried in his hair. He kisses him sloppily. Dean’s hand wanders south, down to the crevice of Cas’ ass, his fingers graze over the puckered skin of his hole.

Castiel cries out, his whole body tenses, his wings rustle as the orgasm punches through him in waves.

Dean presses his shaking body to his chest, as close as if he wanted to merge with him. He keeps stroking their cocks - his achingly hard and Cas’ softening, hand slick with Cas’ hot come. The angel sucks on his neck and whispers his name over and over again. The heat growing in Dean’s body gets unbearable, it runs through his veins and simmers under his skin and sets his mind on fire. He grabs handfuls of Cas’ feathers and buries his head in the crook of Cas’ neck to stifle a groan as he spills over Cas’ hand.

They stay in a tight hug, basking in the afterglow, sticky and spent and content. Dean feels Cas’ heart beating against his and it makes him want to never let go. He rubs Cas’ back and smoothes his feathers.

"Shower?" he asks when the angel shifts in his lap.

Castiel shakes his head and kisses him, slow and soft. It makes Dean’s lips tingle when the angel pulls away.

"You are too good for me, Cas," he says, staring at Castiel. His eyes are glowing and his cheeks are flushed.

"I don’t even deserve you."

The angel chuckles. "Of course you do." He kisses the corner of Dean’s lips.

"Let’s get a shower," he says as he starts to untangle himself from Dean’s arms.


	7. Chapter 7

The peace ends two days before the registration when Dean’s phone buzzes with a text from Sam: _Turn your TV on._

Dean doesn’t even have to switch the channel to find the news.

"Son of a bitch," he mutters when he sees a picture of Cas’ wings on the screen. The reporter talks enthusiastically about a discovery of a new species. It continues with a shot of some religious fanatic talking about angels and apocalypse, but Dean turns the TV off and throws the remote angrily on the table.

Cas looks at him, anxious.

"Shit! Who could have-" He grabs his phone. "Chuck? Can you explain-"

"I’m so sorry, Dean! I’m so sorry," the scientist bursts out. "It must have been Becky. She’s disappeared and she was the only one with access to all the documents."

"I’m gonna skin her alive," Dean hisses.

"I’ll be at the registration if it helps somehow-"

"Yeah, you and thousands of other people including religious freaks."

"Look, Dean, I’m really sorry."

"Yeah, I know. We’ll deal with it. See you at the registration," Dean says with a sigh and hangs up.

"Dean, is it bad?" Cas asks, worry clear in his eyes. Dean runs his fingers through his hair in frustration.

"I don’t know, Cas. I mean no. No, it’s not bad. It'll be okay. We just need to prepare ourselves for some attention."

 

It’s worse than Dean expected. Most of the people crowded in front of the building are just curious and therefore harmless. But there are others shouting something about abominations and mutants or begging for redemption. The most annoying are those from the press, flashing their cameras, waving with their microphones and shouting questions. They make Castiel’s wings twitch under his coat. He keeps his eyes focused on his own shoes and pretends to not mind anyone and anything, but Dean feels how nervous he is. He keeps his hand on Cas’ shoulder and shoos everyone who tries to talk to them.

When they finally get through the crowd into the building, they meet Sam and Jess followed by Garth.

"Hello, guys! Are you ready?" the counselor greets them. Dean turns to Cas, who returns the look, eyes wide and face pale, but he nods.

"We’re very lucky," Garth announces, "the head of the committee is Jody Mills. She’s a nice lady and her foster daughter is a vampire. Then there’s Benny Lafitte and Madison Vaugier, he’s a vampire and she’s a werewolf."

"I know Benny, he’s a good man," Dean adds and pats Cas’ shoulder in an attempt to cheer him up. The angel doesn’t look up from the floor when he grumbles: "I don’t like vampires."

Garth just shrugs, his trademark smile not leaving his face. "Well, you have to hope they’ll like you."

Dean frowns at him but the werewolf doesn’t seem to notice as he continues: "The only one that might try to cause some problems is Zachariah. Sam, do you have all the materials about the bond?"

"Yes," Sam nods and waves a manila folder.

They continue talking, but Dean doesn’t pay them any attention. He’s staring at Cas’ tense face.

"You know what," he interrupts Sam talking about a new translation of the manuscript he managed to get, making them all look at him.

"What if you wait here and I take Cas somewhere more private for a pep talk?"

Garth hums an affirmation and points down the hall. "There’s a little backyard if you go through the glass door next to the restrooms."

"Thank you." Dean grabs Cas’ arm and drags him away.

"Keep it G-rated, guys," Garth calls after them.

The backyard is a nice place with flowerbeds and a little fountain in the middle. Cas relaxes visibly when they get there. He looks up at Dean for the first time since they arrived to the building.

"Can I take my coat off?"

"Of course." Dean steps closer to help him shed the uncomfortable article of clothing and lays it on a bench.

Cas lets out a relieved breath and stretches his wings. He’s wearing a dark suit which Jess helped them adjust so Cas’ wings fit into the holes in the back. Dean can’t keep his lips from curling up in a smile.

"You look great in a suit."

Cas smiles back even though his smile is small and unsure. His blue tie matches his eyes and hangs askew from the collar of his white shirt. Dean straightens it, smiling at the curious look Cas gives his fingers. He leaves his palms on the lapels of his suit jacket.

"You know you don’t have to do it, right? We can wait until you’re ready."

"I want to get over with it as soon as possible."

"Yeah, I get that. But, Cas," he lets one of his hands travel up Cas’ neck and into his thick hair, "there’s seriously nothing to worry about."

"The bond," Cas answers, squeezing his eyes shut and leaning into Dean’s touch.

"There’s nothing wrong with the bond."

"That’s not what you thought when you first learned about it."

Dean’s fingers hesitate for a moment, but then he shakes his head and continues moving his fingers through Cas’ hair.

"But you explained it to me and that’s what we’re gonna do. Now I know the bond isn’t dangerous." He leans closer and presses a soft kiss to Cas’ forehead. He continues talking with his lips still against Cas’ skin.

"Right now it’s telling me how worried you are and that you like my suit just as much as I like yours."

Cas chuckles and pulls away. "Yes I do." He smiles sweetly.

"I feel the bond is good. I feel it here." Dean takes Cas’ hand at presses it to his chest where his heart is.

"And I know I don’t... that I don’t feel what I feel towards you because of some spell, but because you’re friggin’ fantastic."

Cas ducks his head and huffs out a soft laugh.

"So let’s show them how awesome you are and then let’s go home."

Cas nods and wraps his arms around Dean’s neck. Dean smiles against his temple and runs his hands over his wings to smooth the feathers ruffled by the coat.

 

First Cas has to take the tests which means Dean can’t go with him. It drives the Winchester crazy, he’s never left Cas alone with some stranger before. He tries to stay as calm as possible and send only reassuring waves through the bond. It’s only a psychological test and a test about social conventions and human habits and Cas studied hard for this one. Of course he’s sure Cas will rock, but he can’t stop pacing up and down the hall. He’s relieved when Cas come out with a smile on his lips. It turns into a grin when he holds his thumbs up, the gesture a bit unnatural and awkward. It makes Dean laugh and pull Cas in for a soft kiss.

Then they have to wait while the tests are evaluated and the committee interviews a young kitsune.  The waiting is like torture, and not even the coffee and doughnuts Jess has bought for them make it better.

"Just tell the truth," Garth recommends, "it’s useless to try to keep something from them. Just be honest, guys, and everything will be okay." He pats them both on a shoulder before he enters the interview room. It looks exactly like a courtroom, which makes Dean’s skin crawl. Garth introduces their case, then the members of the committee. Dean knows the vampire and the werewolf - a young pretty chick- looks okay as well. The older women looks stern, but not hostile. The last member looks like a dick, exactly as Garth has warned them.

"Castiel." The head of the committee smiles at the angel, whose wings are twitching nervously behind his back. The smile looks good on her.

"This is not a common question here, but I believe you’ll understand the circumstances are different in your case. Can you tell us about your species? Are you the only one of your kind and what happened to the others?"

"I don’t know if I’m the last one, but I haven’t seen any others of my kind in centuries. There was a war preceding the fall of our civilization. After the war, we were scattered all over the world, threatened by humans. I was on the run until I found the forest where the Winchesters found me."

"The war," Benny starts in his deep voice, "what were you doing during the war?"

"I was a soldier. I was in charge of my own garrison."

This time it’s the she-wolf who speaks.

"How long ago did that happen? How old are you?"

"We don’t count years as you do. But I think thousands of years."

There’s a heavy silence for a minute interrupted by Zachariah.

"Is English your first language? If not, how did you learn it?"

"I used to work with people, human soldiers whose language was Latin. Then I met other people when I was on the run, and some of them knew English. I had to refresh my knowledge and the meaning of some modern expressions is still lost to me." He bows his head, wings puffing up a little when he adds with a soft bashful smile: "And I don’t understand pop culture references."

Dean stifles a laugh, he feels a sudden surge of affection towards the angel and he’s sure Castiel must feel it through their connection because his wings fan out a little and his smile widens. The committee seems to be amused by Cas’ little confession and the atmosphere in the room lightens.

"So, Castiel," Jody Mills addresses him again, "are there some differences and specifics in your lifestyle? Are there some special angel habits or customs?"

Castiel tilts his head, the gesture that always reminds Dean of a big curious bird. He can’t see his face properly but he’s sure Castiel is squinting while he thinks about the answer.

"I think the lifestyle is very similar to humans’. We’re more connected to nature, our senses are sharper, that influences our habits and customs a bit. Our social conventions are different than yours. But if you’re asking whether I need to eat raw hearts or drink fresh blood, then no. My dietary habits are the same as humans’." He says it as a mere fact, not as an offense towards the young werewolf and the vampire, but Dean holds his breath looking at them anyway. Benny just huffs out a laugh and Madison smiles at the desk in front of her.

"Thank you, Castiel, I’d like to talk to the human that is willing to vouch for you. Mr. Dean Winchester, please come forward."

Dean changes places with Cas, shooting him a wide smile and brushing his fingertips over the edge of his wing when he passes by him.

"So, Dean, tell us what’s the nature of your relationship with Castiel and why did you come here to vouch for him."

"I want to vouch for him because he deserves the protection the status of NHC will provide him. When I met him, he was treated like an animal, which he definitely doesn’t deserve. If he wants to live among people, he should have the chance."

It startles him a bit when it’s Zachariah who starts talking.

"Mr. Winchester, we’re here to make sure that the applicant has established honest relationships with humans. To make sure that he’s not using you to get the status and that you’re not using him for your own benefits. Your speech was very good but a little bit cold. Do you consider Castiel your friend?"

Dean hesitates. Part of him wants to say yes, to tell Zachariah that they’re just friends. To avoid the risky topic of their mating bond. But the part of him that is connected to Castiel already feels hurt that he wants to deny the true nature of their relationship. He grits his teeth and takes a deep breath through his nose.

"He’s not just my friend. He’s my mate." No one says anything, but there are tilted heads, raised eyebrows and questioning looks. So he tells them everything. He tells them how they found him and used the spell, thinking that it’s supposed to tame him. He tells him how he took him home and cared for his wing. He tells them how he learned about the bond and how it made him feel like a rapist. He tells them how Cas learned to speak English so he could explain how the bond works. He tells them how long it took him to accept it. And he hates every minute of it. He hates to talk about his relationship and his feelings in front of these strangers. It feels like being stripped of everything. The only thing that keeps him going is the gentle hum in the back of his mind. The bond, Castiel. He’s doing this for him and it’s worth it.

He’s really grateful that they don’t interrupt him, but there’s a heavy silence when he finishes his story.

Zachariah is frowning, Jody is writing something down, Benny shoots him a reassuring smile and Madison looks like she just heard the sweetest story ever.

Zachariah is the first to break the silence, looking pointedly at Castiel.

"So the bond is one of the different things about angels’ society Castiel so conveniently didn’t elaborate about."

 _Here we go,_ Dean thinks.

"Yes, their mating habits are the biggest difference," he admits.

"Are you sure the angel didn’t lie to you about how the bond works? That he can’t control you through it?"

Dean smiles at him as if he was a dumb child.

"Yes, I’m pretty sure about it. Why would he let me tell you about it if he could control me? And don’t forget to remember that it was me, who made the bonding ritual, he just let me because he liked me. Because I’m irresistible." He turns to wink playfully at his mate who smiles and hides his face in his hand. When Dean looks back at the committee, Zachariah looks furious while the others fight to keep straight faces.

"Dean, please tell us how the bond works. Or how you think it works." Jody looks at Zachariah who folds his arms on his chest and nods.

"It just makes me feel connected, I can sense when Cas is near me and it makes me feel... right. Sometimes I can tell how he feels. The book says that if our bond gets really strong, we’ll be able to communicate telepathically, but we’re not there yet."

"What book are you talking about?" Zachariah bursts out.

Dean smiles brightly at him before he answers. "The book where my brother found the mating ritual."

"Didn’t he make a mistake in the translation once?"

"Yes, he did. That’s why we got another translation, we even have a copy here if you want to see it." He turns to Jody.

"Bring the damn book, Winchester," she orders. Dean looks at Garth, who walks to the door and lets Sam in.

"Hello, my name is Sam Winchester and this is the manuscript translated by Doctor Eleanor Visyak, I believe you heard of her." He hands one copy to each member of the committee and blushes a little when Madison smiles at him.

"Thank you Mr Winchester. Please stay in the room, I’d like to talk to you too if you don’t mind." Jody invites him while leafing through the folder. Sam nods and takes a place next to Castiel.

"How can we get this as a reliable source?" Zachariah snaps.

"I guess we have no other choice, Zachariah. To me it seems the bond is consensual, am I right, Castiel? Is there a way to break the bond or somehow get out of it?"

"If the mates don’t interact with each other, the bond fades and eventually disappears but it takes a lot of time and it might cause emotional pain."

"Just like any other break up," adds Madison.

Jody hums her affirmation and turns to Sam. "Sam, does your brother seem influenced by the bond? Does he act differently?"

"Yes, madam, he acts like a love struck idiot."

Madison has to cover her mouth with her palms to hide the laugh. Dean shoots his brother a silent _I’m gonna kill you_ look but he can’t keep the corners of his lips from twitching.

"Nothing about the bond seems dangerous to me. Besides, vampires have an ability of mild mind control and it was never an obstacle in getting the NHC status." Jody looks at Benny, then at Zachariah who looks annoyed but doesn’t object.

"So, Sam, what can you tell us about Castiel and his behavior among people?" Madison turns out to be much more talkative in Sam’s presence. He gives her one of the trademark Winchester smiles before he starts.

"Well, his people skills are rusty, as he likes to say. He tends to be jumpy and nervous in front of strangers and crowds but as you can see right now, he’s dealing with it and I think he’s getting used to it." He nods at Cas and gives him a reassuring smile.

"A lot of things are new for him but he learns quickly. The only problem is that he’s very protective of Dean."

"Do you think he could get aggressive because of it?" Benny asks and it makes Dean cringe, it feels like Cas is some kind of wild animal and not a person that understands them and is present in the room.

"If someone tried to hurt Dean, then yes, I think he might get aggressive. But to be honest if someone attacked my wife, I would be deadly too." Benny and Jody smile at response, only Madison seems a bit disappointed at the mention of Jess.

"So if you ask me, I think Cas is a nice guy and my brother couldn’t wish for a better mate."

Dean shoots him another death glare but stops when he feels a wave of pride through the bond.

"Thank you, Sam, you can go. I have just one last question for Castiel. Does anyone else want to ask anything?" Jody looks at her colleagues who shake their heads.

"So, Castiel, why do you want the NHC status?"

Cas stands up, spreading his wings a little which makes him look bigger and confident.

"I don’t want to live alone anymore. I like the human lifestyle and I want to stay with my mate." He turns to Dean and his smile ignites a fire in Dean’s chest.

"Thank you, Castiel. I think we've heard everything we needed to hear. You can leave. Please wait for the decision, we need to see your test results first."

 

Dean is overflowing with hope and joy. The moment they leave the room, he pulls Cas into a bear hug and kisses the top of his head. Cas spreads his wings in surprise, the long feathers at their tips brushing the walls. Castiel chuckles and nuzzles at Dean’s neck.

"It was good, wasn't it?"

"Are you kidding? It was awesome! We kicked ass!" Dean laughs so loud that someone at the end of the hall waiting for their own interview hushes him.

He just waves at them and kisses his mate.

"Dean, don’t jinx it," Sam warns. "The Zachariah guy seemed pretty rude and even though we shut his mouth pretty effectively, he might cause problems."

"Who cares? All the others loved us. And the werewolf chick loved you even though you ruined it with the mention of Jess."

"You said something about me?" Jess steps in, wrapping her arms around Sam’s waist.

"Yeah, he said he would kill anyone who would lay a hand on his beautiful wife and the nice she-wolf looked very disappointed."

Cas hits his shoulder with the back of his hand. "Dean, don’t talk like this about a member of the committee, what if she hears you?"

"Sorry, babe," Dean murmurs but he keeps smiling until he presses a kiss into Castiel’s hair.

"I’m gonna use the bathroom, don’t go inside without me, guys."


	8. Chapter 8

He’s humming a melody while he washes his hands, not even realizing it’s Eye of the Tiger. When he leaves the bathroom, still singing under his breath, he almost runs into somebody.

"Excuse me," he mutters but the woman steps back into his way.

"Mr. Winchester, can we talk?"

He gives her the once-over. It’s a good looking woman in her forties, she has her dark hair in a tight bun and she’s wearing a suit. She looks like someone you don’t want to mess with.

"My name is Naomi and I’m from Skybound Pharmaceuticals. I’d like to talk with you about the angel."

Dean frowns. He knows the company. It’s infamous for its cruel experiments on supernatural creatures but no one ever managed to prove that they’re actually breaking laws.

"The angel is here to get his citizen status so he won’t be treated like an animal in the future. I think it’s pretty obvious that I’m not gonna sell him like a pet."

"He may be here pretending to be a human with wings but we both know he’s not. We also both know you have control over him. I’m not saying he’s your pet, but I’m sure he will do whatever you ask of him."

Dean clenches his fists and takes a deep breath, fighting the urge to hit her face.

The crazy woman continues with a straight face and sweet tone, making his blood boil more and more.

"I can imagine what you’ve heard about our company and I assure they were lies. We have no intention to do some obscure experiments on your friend. We’d just love to examine the new species. Maybe there is some way he can be useful to society."

"Cas doesn’t owe society anything and you’re not laying a hand on him!" Dean bursts out. He’s sure by now Cas must have noticed that something is wrong, because of Dean’s anger leaking through the bond.

"Dean, calm down. All I want is to ask your friend if he would be willing to come and let us make some scans and take some samples, that’s all."

"And if you find out that his blood can cure cancer, then what? Am I supposed to believe that you’ll let him go?"

"He’s going to have the NHC status, right? So by doing anything against his will we would be breaking the law."

"As if it ever stopped you," Dean grumbles.

She sighs and tilts her head. "I’m very sorry that you believe in gossip and speculations."

Dean just snorts and shakes his head.

"Here is my card if you change your mind." She steps closer and slides the cart into the breast pocket of his suit jacket.

"It was a pleasure to meet you," she says sweetly, patting his chest where the pocket is with her palm.

Dean flinches and hisses in pain when something pricks his skin.

"Oh, I’m sorry, must have been my ring. Have a nice day." She turns on her heel and heads straight to the exit of the building. Dean shakes his head in disbelief.

 

Cas looks agitated when Dean rejoins them.

"What’s wrong, Dean? Were you angry?"

"What? No, no, it was nothing," Dean waves it off and wraps his arm around Cas’ shoulders. He’s sure Cas knows he’s lying but if he was going to say something, Dean swallows it in a kiss.

"So is it our turn yet?" he asks looking at Garth who shrugs and looks at his watch.

"Lets give them at least ten more minutes and then I’ll try to hurry them up. We can’t be here all day, right? We should grab some beer and burgers when we’re done here, what do you think guys?"

Cas smiles at him politely. He got used to the werewolf and Dean assumes he actually took a liking to the counselor.

"Burgers sound great, Garth. But after this I’d rather go home with Dean."

"Yeah I get it, guys, you want to celebrate in private. Sam, Jess?"

Sam looks at his wife who shrugs with a smile. "We don’t have any plans."

"Then it’s settled," Garth clasps his hands at the same moment when the door to the courtroom which is not courtroom opens and they’re called in.

"Dear Castiel," Jody starts when they all stand at attention in front of the committee. Dean suddenly feels jittery. It all looked very promising but what if the committee didn’t like them as much as they seemed to? He takes a deep breath and tries not to fidget while Jody continues.

"We came to an agreement. Your application was approved and you are granted the status of Non-Human Citizen of the United States of America. Congratulations."

Dean lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and beams at Cas whose wings fan out. Garth whoops behind them which sets Dean into a giggle fit. He pulls Cas into a hug and buries his face in his shoulder. The angel chuckles and strokes Dean’s back with the tips of his wings.

When they part, Jody, Benny and Madison are smiling at them. Zachariah is looking out of the window.

"Please come forward, we need your signature here." When Cas steps to the counter, she gives him a form.

"You’ll need a second name. If you don’t know what to use, the form has some suggestions."

"It’s Winchester," Dean says without even thinking about it. At the moment the name leaves his mouth he regrets it, he should probably discuss it with Cas first. And with Sam too. His ears are burning when the angel slowly looks up at him. He’s wide-eyed and surprised and his cheeks have a tinge of pink too. The wave of emotion that runs through the bond almost knocks Dean off his feet. Surprise, joy, affection, gratitude. It’s so strong and hot and it expands through Dean’s chest so forcefully that it makes him unable to breathe. Then a soft smile breaks on Cas’ face and Dean feels as if his heart grew wings of it’s own.

"It’s Winchester," Castiel repeats turning back at Jody, his voice is soft and a bit shaky.

 

Dean holds up Cas’ trench coat to help him tuck his wings in. The cheers and chants of "Angel! Show us the angel!" are telling them the crowd hasn’t given up yet and is waiting for them to step out of the building.

"Maybe I should just show them," Castiel says in a low voice.

"What?"

"Most of them just want to see my wings. If I show them, they will leave us alone."

"Are you sure?" Dean frowns. "They may try to attack you. the wings are a big target and-"

"Dean," Castiel turns around and places a hand on Dean’s chest. "I came here to get freedom to live in the human world. If I have to keep hiding, then this all struggle was pointless."

"You’re right," Dean sighs and folds Cas’ coat over his forearm.

"Let’s show them the sensation."

 

The moment they step out and Cas spreads his wings, the crowd gets mad. The flashes of cameras are blinding and the cheers deafening. Dean tightens his grip on Cas’ shoulder. All his hunter instincts are telling him how wrong this is, but he has to support Cas in his decisions.

"Did you obtain the NHC status?" One of the journalists mange to yell over the others.

"Yes, I’m very honored to be allowed to live among humans as one of them," Castiel answers, not looking at the camera aimed on him. Dean leans closer to the journalist and her microphone.

"Which means he has the same rights as humans and if anyone tries to hurt him, they will be punished by law." He shoots a wide grin into the camera for a good measure and then leads Cas down the steps and to their car.

"Do you still think it was a good idea?" he mutters when he starts the engine. Cas is staring out the window at his fans.

"They will get tired sooner or later and move to something new. And I’m tired already, take me home, Dean."

 

The enthusiasm that came with the success wears out pretty fast and the memory of Naomi and her words creeps back into his mind.

"Cas?" He looks at the angel in the rear view mirror.

"Yes, Dean?"

"Do I control you?"

"If you mean the bond I thought I made it clear it doesn’t work this way."

Dean shakes his head and sighs. "I don’t mean the bond, just... would you do anything I ask?"

Dean hears a ruffle of feathers as the angel shifts on the backseat too small for him and his wings. Then he feels Cas’ hot breath on the back of his neck as Castiel leans over his seat.

"I wish to make you happy, yes. But I still have my own free will. What is this about, Dean? Does it have something to do with you being angry earlier?"

Dean’s heart clenches when he hears the concern in Cas’ voice.

"When I left to use the bathroom I ran into this woman Naomi. She was from Skybound Pharmaceuticals. They make medicines and cures using supernatural creatures but they are infamous for treating them really badly."

He can sense Cas’ frown. "What did she wantfrom you."

"She wanted me to ask you if you would let them examine you."

Another uneasy rustle of wings against the side and roof of the car.

"Why didn’t she ask me directly?"

 _Because she’s a bitch and thinks that you’re my pet,_ Dean thinks.

"She said I had control over you."

"Well, she’s wrong," Castiel says defiantly, "I’m my own person, I make my own decisions and you proved today that you respect them."

Dean smiles softly and reaches for the business card. He gives it to Cas. "Then make your own decision whether you want to contact her or not."

The angel takes the card and stares at it thoughtfully.

"What if... There’s a possibility that I might be helpful to people as other non-humans are."

"If you think so, you can talk about it with Sam or Bobby, or even Chuck. Not risking that some bitch will lock you in a cage."

"Okay, then." Cas’ smile is tired but warm in the mirror. "I made my own decision not to contact this woman."

 

"Are you hungry?" Dean asks when they come home and strip off their suits.

"No, not really," the angel rumbles, running his fingers through his hair, ruffling it up.

Dean steps closer to him, between his wings, and presses a soft kiss to his neck.

"You should lay down and let me groom your wings. They're all messed up from the coat and the drive."

The angel stiffens and his neck flare up with a blush.

"My wings are very sensitive," he mutters.

"Yeah I noticed." Dean grins and runs his fingers through Castiel’s ptimaries, making the angel shudder.

"It’s very intimate to let someone groom your wings." Cas adds, shifting out of Dean’s reach.

"You let me do it before," Dean objects with disappointment in his voice. That’s when it hits him. The only time when he groomed Cas’ wings, he embarrassed both of them by arousing the angel.

"Come on, Cas, I’m your mate." He grabs Cas’ hips and makes him turn around to face him.

"Who else should groom your wings than me? Intimate is what mates are for, isn’t it?"

Cas stares at him with awe in his bright blue eyes. "You’re mine," he breathes out as if he was still unable to believe it.

"Yours," Dean sighs and leans down to cover Cas' jaw with little kisses. "I’m yours, Castiel Winchester."

Cas’ wings fan out and ruffle up. Dean feels his heart beating hard and fast against his own chest when he wraps his arms around his mate and pulls him as close as possible.

"Mine." Cas breaths the word into Dean’s mouth. The kiss is heated and possessive. It makes Dean  weak at the knees but it’s okay, Cas is there to hold him.

The next moments are a whirl of kisses and desperate groping but they somehow manage to end up in the bedroom. Cas naked on his stomach on the bed, Dean straddling his hips, raking his hands through soft feathers.

Cas moans a bit every time Dean plucks out a broken feather so he kisses it better. The feeling of feathers against his lips makes him shiver. He trails kisses down Castiel’s spine, whispering " _Mine_ " and " _Mate_ " between them. His hand never stops, fingers running through feathers. Castiel’s breath hitches and goose bumps rise on the back of his neck when Dean mouths at his skin right between his shoulder blades. The idea comes on the spur of the moment. He nuzzles at the downside of Cas’ wing, right where it joins his back. The angel shudders but Dean pushes him gently into the mattress. He finds the oil gland with his lips. Castiel arches his back and groans loudly when Dean sucks on it. He feels the thick taste of the oil in his mouth. His hand reaches for the other wing and rubs its gland. Cas flaps his wings, making pornographic sounds.

"Shh, I got you," Dean whispers when he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. He wonders if Cas could come on the stimulation of his glands only.

Castiel buries his face into the pillow and writhes on the bed. He mutters something which sounds suspiciously like "fuck me" but Dean can’t be sure, it’s muffled by the pillow. He runs his oil-slick fingers through Cas’ feathers, giving Cas some rest and actually doing his job. Castiel turns his head so he can take breaths in heavy gasps.

"Dean," he whimpers. His mate leans down so Cas can crane his neck and seal their lips. He licks hungrily into Dean’s mouth, nibbles at his lips to express his frustration when Dean touches one of his oil glands again.

This time he’s more gentle. He tries to take care of every single feather, even the smallest ones at the downside of the wings which make Cas sigh with pleasure. He knows he’s slowly making him undone and he loves it.

Pearls of perspiration are glistening on Cas’ back when Dean’s done with his wings. He’s an incoherent mess, rocking his hips slowly to find friction against the bedding.

"Dean, please," he whispers.

Dean doesn’t have to ask what he’s begging for. He feels his need through the bond and it mixes with his own. It’s overwhelming. He presses his chest against Castiel’s back and kisses his neck.

"Are you sure?" he asks softly, his palms skimming down Cas’ sides.

"I want you, Dean," the angel moans and lifts his hips, pushing his ass against Dean’s crotch.

Dean stifles a groan of his own and kisses his angel again.

"Can I use your oil to prepare you?"

"Oh yes, please!"

Dean chuckles and pets Cas' damp hair.

He opens the nightstand drawer and fishes for a condom. Cas rolls to his side and watches him.

"What is it?" He asks, squinting at the small package in Dean’s fingers.

"It’s uhm... it’s to protect us."

"From what?" Dean wouldn’t believe it’s possible to squint even harder and more suspiciously but it is.

"If one of us has some disease, the other won’t catch it," Dean answers. He has no idea why he’s blushing, he’s discussed condoms with other people many times before. He busies himself with unwrapping the condom.

"I don’t have any disease. Do you, Dean?"

"What? No, I’m quite sure I don’t." It’s true, he gets tested every half a year. And Cas is right that there’s really small chance he has something. Can angels even catch such things?

He snaps out of his thoughts when Cas snatches the condom from his fingers. He sniffs at it and makes a disgusted face.

"How does it work?" he asks but there’s clear dislike in his voice.

"It goes on the penis, like this." He demonstrates it by unrolling the condom, happy that he didn’t stutter.

Cas shakes his head. "I don’t want anything like this between us, Dean."

It’s really hard to refuse him anything when he makes such a face - wide eyes and pouted lips.

Dean sighs. "Okay. I think we should be safe." He lets the condom fall from his hand on the floor when Cas grabs the back of his neck and pulls him into a kiss.

The angel mutters something in Enochian, when Dean squeezes his gland gently, collecting the oil once more, this time with entirely different intentions.

Cas gasps, when Dean grazes his slick finger over his entrance. Dean presses a hot kiss on the small of his back, the free hand fisted in feathers, and rubs gently, easing the circle of muscle, then he slowly slides in.

Castiel tenses, but then he huffs out a breath and relaxes again.

"Dean." His voice is even huskier than usualwhich sends shivers down Dean’s spine.

He wants this, he wants it so much. To have Cas in this way, to feel him, to consummate their bond. But he knows he can’t rush it, he would hate himself if he hurt his mate. He needs to make this perfect for both of them.

While he works his partner open, he sends soothing waves through their connection, trying to concentrate on all the affection he feels towards the angel and send it to him like unspoken confession. It works because he feels a wave of emotion sweep over him. It almost chokes him. It’s too much. He has to rest his forehead against Cas’ back and take a few calming breaths. It’s hard to believe this is real. He never believed he could find this. He never felt anything so strong in his life. It feels like his and Castiel’s heart are beating in the same rhythm and he knows it’s not only the mating spell. If he was ever inclined to having faith in some higher power it’s this moment. Maybe he was meant to find the wounded angel in the woods, maybe Sam was meant to make a mistake in translation. Whichever deity is responsible for this, Dean thanks them in his mind. He thanks them when he kisses Cas’ lips. He thanks them when he slowly slides into the tight heat of his body, stopping every time the angel tenses, rubbing his back and hips soothingly to make him relax.

"You okay?" he whispers into Cas’ ear when he bottoms out. The angel doesn’t answer, eyes squeezed shut, breathing harshly.

"Try to relax, breathe." Dean presses tender kisses behind Cas’ ear, giving him time to adjust even though his body is begging him to move. Only when Cas cranes his neck to reach Dean’s lips, does he start to move ever so slowly. He swears under his breath, the sensation setting his insides on fire. He listens for any pained noises that would tell him to stop, but all that falls from Castiel’s lips is a string of gasped Enochian and Dean’s name.

It’s been so long since he’s done this. And it certainly never felt like this. Not with a man, nor with a woman, it was never so _important_.

Castiel fists his hands in the sheets and moans loudly.

"Dean!"

"Is it good? Tell me how good it feels," Dean murmurs against Castiel’s skin, tasting his sweat on his lips.

"Yes, yes, Dean it’s-" His words trail off into a groan. "So good, Dean I... please, please, I need more, more!"

He moves his hips, trying to thrust up, to fuck himself on Dean’s cock, his wings flap desperately.

Dean grabs Cas’ hips and pulls him up to stay on his knees and hands. The change of angle makes the angel gasp. His wings arch up towards the ceiling and all the feathers puff up when Dean hits Cas’ prostate. The angel cries out and lets his head fall between his shoulders.

"Shh, I got you," Dean whispers soothingly, pressing himself against Cas’ back. He wraps one of his arms around Cas and reaches for his hard cock. He starts to stroke him slowly. He feels soft feathers pressed against his sides and the sensation of being fully surrounded by Cas makes him want to lose himself in his lover, to be one with him for ever.

He is mouthing at the knobs of Cas’ spine when he notices the light. Bright swirls glowing on Cas’ skin, lending his wings a blue tint. They are on the same place - right between his wings - as the night they met. Dean reaches for Cas’ wing with his unoccupied hand and grabs its base firmly, kissing the Enochian letters.

"Castiel" he whispers, even though he knows this time it’s not what the sign says. This time it says his name.

"Castiel!" he cries out thrusting harder, stroking faster.

"Dean," Cas answers. "Dean," he almost sobs when his body tenses and he topples over the edge. His body shakes with little spasms and his wings flutter. Dean buries his face in the feathers when he follows him. The orgasm is so strong it makes him see stars.

They are still burning in his veins when he collapses on the bed and pulls the angel to his side. Castiel drapes one of his wings over him and makes a content sound against Dean’s heaving chest.

The feather light touches of his fingertips makes Dean open his eyes. The glow is fading fast but he can still see Castiel’s name written with light right over his heart. He lets his eyes fall shut and smiles.

"Mine," he breathes out in husky voice and draws his mate even closer, kissing the top of his head.

"Mine," Castiel answers, cheek pressed against Dean’s heart, listening to its slowing beat.

 

* * *

 

He wakes up with face full of feathers and he doesn’t even care. He just grabs a fistful of Cas’ feathers and chuckles at the purring noise the angel makes.

Castiel trails soft kisses down Dean’s jaw and cheek until he finds his lips.

"How do you feel?" Dean asks him, threading his fingers through Cas’ hair.

"Sticky." The angel smiles at him and Dean chuckles.

"We shouldn’t fall asleep. Let’s take a shower."

"No, no, I don’t want to move," Cas protests, wrapping his wing tighter around Dean.

Dean frowns in concern. "Are you sore?"

Castiel hesitates for a moment, then he shakes his head. "I’m okay. I’d just like to stay here with you for a little longer." He shifts closer, almost lying on top of Dean, who runs his hands through Cas’ wings.

"Cuddly angel," Dean laughs, nuzzling at his neck.

"Don’t pretend you don’t like to cuddle."

Dean snorts and rolls them over, making sure Cas’ wings don’t get hurt. He lets his hand between Cas’ shoulder blades so his wing joints don’t dig painfully into the mattress. The angel laughs and squirms when Dean buries his face in the small feathers on the sensitive downside of his wing.

"Of course I do, you are so fluffy!" Dean mutters, tickling Cas with his fingers.

Castiel laughs out loud, the sound makes Dean’ chest fill up with joy.

Then Cas falls silent and stops beating his wings. Dean props himself on one hand and looks into his suddenly serious face.

"Dean." Cas’ eyes draw him in and the unspoken words ring clear in Dean’s head. They make his heart skip a beat and all the color drains out of his face.

"Don’t," he breathes out. "Please, Cas, don’t."

"But I-" Confusion and hurt flicker over the angel’s face. Dean has to close his eyes to escape from the guilt he starts to feel.

"Please, Cas, don’t say it. Just don’t."

"Why?" Cas runs his fingers through Dean’s hair, Dean leans into the touch and opens his eyes but he avoids looking into Cas’ face.

"Because it would ruin everything. It’s like a curse. Once you say it, everything goes to hell. I lost everyone who I told. I can’t lose you too. Cas, I can’t." His voice fades out when he leans his forehead on Cas’ chest. He feels tears burning in the back of his eyes. Castiel’s fingers in his hair stop moving, then they tug gently, making Dean look up. Cas pulls him into a kiss. The kiss is soft and sweet and better than a thousand words. Dean’s heart is racing in his chest and sparkles run up and down his spine.

Castiel pulls away just to whisper something in Enochian. Dean huffs out a mirthless laugh.

"You cheater. Saying it in Enochian won’t make it better."

"I didn’t say it." Castiel says with fake innocence in his face.

"What did you say then?"

Cas smirks before he answers. "That you’re an annoying human."


	9. Chapter 9

The first time they take a walk without Cas’ wings being covered, Dean is jittery as hell. He’s afraid some hater might attack them, or at least be rude to them. He insists on going out at night and bringing his gun with him. But all the people they meet are just surprised or don’t care at all. They go out more often and for longer time. Their visit at Sam and Jess’ place is the best, because Cas is so cute when he’s worried that he might knock something off with his wings. They adjusted more of Dean’s old clothes so Cas can wear them, but at home he still prefers to be shirtless (Dean definitely doesn’t complain).

Dean is happy. He’s the happiest heever remembers being. Sam is safe and he’s going to become a father. Dean has his mate and the best part is that he knows Castiel is happy with him. The bond is at it’s full strength now. They don’t even need to use words anymore. Some of Cas’ thoughts Dean hears make him blush. Like when Cas stares at him and thinks about how Dean’s eyes remind him of the sun rays going through leaves on summer days. Sometimes Cas huffs out a laugh when he hears Dean’s thoughts as Dean stares at his booty. But the best is when they just lie side by side in the bed and hear each other’s unspoken confessions.

Cas teaches Sam how to use some angel spells and in reward Sam teaches him about hunting with the promise that he might once join them on a hunt. For now Dean considers it too dangerous so he leaves Cas at home.

"Take care," Cas whispers between goodbye kisses.

"I will. And if something happens to me, you’ll know." Dean smiles and squeezes the base of Cas’ wing gently. Cas places his warm palm over Dean’s heart and nods.

"Come back soon, I’ll be waiting." He kisses him again.

 

The vampire pounces at him, sharp teeth bared in a snarl. Dean hauls off his machete.

It’s like a punch in his gut, the pain makes him bend over. It’s not caused by the monster. The vampire doesn’t stop.

"Dean!" Sam’s desperate voice sounds distant in his ears. He doesn’t see the swing of his brother’s weapon, but he hears the thud of falling body. A spray of hot blood falls on his back.

"What the hell, Dean?" Sam asks agitated, he grabs Dean’s shoulder and makes him straighten up.

"What happened? Are you hurt?"

Dean’s heart is beating painfuly fast and he’s unable to catch breath. He looks his brother in the eye.

"We need to get home. Something's happened to Cas."

 

The bond is like a siren in his head screaming at him that he needs to hurry. He floors the gas pedal and breaks every rule just to get back to Cas as soon as possible. Sam doesn’t even protest, he’s clearly worried himself.

Dean’s hands are shaking so much that he needs to let Sam unlock the door.

"Cas?" he shouts when he rushes into the apartment. His chest constricts when he doesn’t get an answer.

"Cas!" He storm through the living room. Castiel is in the bathroom, hunched over the toilet. His wings are ruffled, he’s pale with dark circles under his eyes and beads of sweat on his forehead.

"Dean," he looks up at him with a weak smile that breaks Dean’s heart. But at least he can breathe now, when Cas is within arm reach.

"What’s wrong, baby?" Dean crouches beside the angel who automatically wraps his arms around his neck.

"I’m sick," Castiel sighs. Dean helps him to his feet and swipes his damp hair out of his face.

"What happened?"

"I don’t know. I was a bit tired yesterday, but today it got worse." He’s shaking in Dean’s arms and his breathing is shallow.

"It'll be okay. I’m here." He kisses Cas’ cheek. It’s too hot. "Let’s get you into the bed, okay?"

"What do you think it is?" Sam asks when Dean tucks the angel in and leaves to make him some soup.

"I don’t know. Can angels catch a flu?"

Sam shrugs. "Do you need some help?"

"No, not now. Go home. I'll call you if anything changes."

"Okay." Sam nods and places his big paw on Dean’s shoulder. "Will you be okay? I mean the bond... you don’t feel sick or something, do you?"

"No, I-" Dean shakes his head hopelessly. "I feel like shit. I know my mate is in distress. But I can function. I'll handle it, Sam."

"Okay. If you need anything, call me."

 

He manages to feed Cas some soup which makes a little bit of color return to his face.

"How did the hunt go?" Cas asks cuddled to Dean’s side.

"Well, Sam saved my ass. The alarm in my head went off just at the worst moment."

"I’m sorry."

"That’s okay. I wish I knew you felt bad earlier. You should have called me."

"I didn’t want to disturb your hunt. But I’m glad you’re here."

"So am I." Dean keeps petting Cas' wings until the angel’s breathing evens out.

When he’s asleep, Dean reaches for his phone and calls Chuck.

"Can I give Cas some Tylenol?" he asks without greeting.

"What’s wrong with him?"

"He’s sick and he has a fever. Cause unknown."

The scientist doesn’t answer straight away, he hums in contemplation. "You should try some natural treatment like cold bath. Make sure he drinks a lot of water. If it doesn’t help, then try the pills."

"Okay, thanks."

"Call me if he doesn’t get better."

"Will do."

 

Castiel wakes up after less than an hour, groaning and sweaty.

"You’re burning, baby," Dean says with a palm pressed to Cas’ forehead.

"Let’s take a cold shower. It'll bring you some relief, I promise."

"Okay."

Dean undresses them and helps Cas get into the shower. It reminds him of their first night together. Cas smiles when he tells him.

"I was so scared of the shower, the bathroom is so small, I thought you wanted to close me in here," Cas admits and spreads his wings slightly so Dean can shower them.

"Yeah I was pretty scared too. And trying not to get a boner. With no avail."

Cas snorts and turns to look at him. "That’s why you ran away? You were aroused?"

"I had a hot naked guy pressed to me, of course I was turned on!"

It’s nice to hear Cas laugh, it fills Dean with hope that everything is going to be okay.

He dries Cas with a towel and rushes him back into the bed.

"Better?" he asks when he draws the sheets over Cas’ wings. The angel shakes his head. Dean frowns but before he can say anything, Cas grips his arm and drags him under the covers with him. Dean chuckles and lets Cas curl against his chest. "Now it’s better." The angel falls asleep with a small smile on his face.

Dean is snoozing himself when his phone rings. He thinks it’s Chuck, but the screen announces an unknown caller.

He answers the call but doesn’t introduce himself.

"Hello, Dean. How is your angel?" The too sweet, yet still cold voice is familiar. Naomi.

"What have you done to him, you evil bitch." He tries to keep his voice low even though his blood is boiling in his veins.

"Me? Nothing," she answers and Dean can actually hear her innocent smile.

"I did nothing to him. But I infected you with a virus that burns out the magic in one’s blood. Of course it didn’t affect you, because there’s not a drop of magic in your body. But to your angel, if he got infected by... let’s say intimate contact, it would be fatal."

"What the hell? You cunt! Why are you doing this?"

"I’m the only one who has an antidote. Bring the angel to me and I will cure him. Otherwise he’ll die."

Dean spits out a string of curses, not caring that the angel stirs beside him.

"I’m not gonna let you lay your dirty hands on him, you witch!"

"Then you should say goodbye to him, Dean."

He’s so angry he can’t find the words, he’s just breathing heavily, clenching his hands into fists.

"If you change your mind, you have my number." With that she hangs up.

An inhuman angry sound rips out of Dean’s throat. He throws the phone across the room. It crashes into the wall and falls on floor in pieces.

"What’s wrong, Dean?" Castiel asks. Dean rubs his temples, unable to look him in the eyes.

"You’re sick, Cas." His voice breaks as he’s fighting tears. "You’re really sick and it’s my fault."

The angel wraps his arms around him and rests his cheek on Dean’s shoulder.

"Who was the person on the phone?"

Dean takes a deep breath. "Naomi. The psycho from Skybound. She infected me with a virus and you caught it from me."

Castiel tenses, he wraps his wings tightly around Dean in a protective gesture.

"What does the virus do?"

"It eats your magic. That’s why it didn’t hurt me, but it’s hurting you."

"But I feel much better now," Cas answers with innocent hope in his voice. Dean turns in his arms to face him.

"Yes, that’s good. That’s what matters." A stray tear runs down his cheek. "I will find a way to help you. I swear I will, Cas."

"I know you will. I trust you, Dean."

 

I’m sorry, Dean," Chuck says over the phone. "I’ve never heard of such thing. It must be something Skybound invented."

Dean is pacing back and forth, one fist desperately clenched in his hair.

"Dammit, Chuck, I need help!"

"I know, I know. I’ll try to find someone who might know something. Just hold on."

Dean hangs up without saying goodbye. _Hold on_ , yeah, he will hold on but what about Cas? How long can he hold on? He claims he's feeling better but he doesn’t look it. He doesn’t have fever for now but he’s still weak as a kitten.

Dean steps closer to Cas’ sleeping form on the bed and runs gentle fingers through his wing. The feathers are dull and some of them stick between Dean’s fingers. He lets them fall on the floor. His heart aches, he’s paralyzed with fear. But he can’t just stare at Cas’ peaceful face and be sad, he needs to do something.

"Anything new?" he asks Sam and Jess when he enters the living room. There are books nearly on every surface of the room. Bobby comes from the kitchen and hands him a beer.

"It’s not a miracle, but we found something that might help."

"Bobby, what are you doing here?" Dean breaths out in surprise.

"Sam called and told me that you and your pretty boy angel need help." Bobby pats his shoulder and Dean can’t resist, he wraps his arm around the old man’s broad shoulders and leans into a hug.

"Thank you," he sighs when he pulls back.

"I hoped to meet your husband in better circumstances, but well, it can’t be helped."

Dean takes a swig of his beer to calm himself down. "Yeah it’s... I’m really happy you came. So what do you have?"

"We didn’t find anything about the virus," Sam answers, motioning for him to come closer and look at the book he’s hunched over.

"But if it burns up his magic, this might help."

"How?" Dean asks, the babbling in the book doesn’t make any sense to him.

Jess taps her finger on the page. "This symbol is used when you need to perform a difficult spell. It boosts up the magic that is naturally in your blood."

"Magic boost, okay, I get it." Dean nods. "So where’s the catch?"

"It’s only temporary," Sam explains. "But it'll buy us some time and it should make him feel better."

"Okay, that’s great, better than nothing. Is there anything else we need for it?"

Bobby shakes his head. "We can do it as soon as your angel wakes up."

 

"Hey, Cas," Dean says softly when Cas blinks his eyes open.

"Hello, Dean." He sits up in the bed and takes the glass of water Dean is offering. There’s more black feathers fallen out on the sheets.

"Cas, this is Bobby Singer. Family friend and the closest I have to a father."

Cas smiles and looks at the man waiting in the doorway.

"The one who takes care of various creatures?"

"Yeah, that'd be me." Bobby steps closer. "I’m happy to finally meet the one who captivated this bullheaded dumbass."

"Nice to meet you, Bobby." Cas shakes Bobby’s hand, then smiles up at Dean.

"Dean might be a bit emotionally constipated, but I’m happy to be his mate."

"Hey! You’re lucky that you’re sick or I would whack your head!"

"Stop bickering," Sam says entering the bedroom. "We have something that might help you, Cas."

 

The charm works so well that Cas is able to get up from bed and help them with the research. Bobby makes his trademark lasagna and they all eat together. It feels like a family get-together, it’s so easy to forget why they are here.

It’s when Cas stands to get another book and wipes his head with the back of his hand leaning on the table to steady himself that Dean notices the angel is wearing out.

"Hey, baby, let’s get you in bed. You can continue tomorrow." He wraps his arm around Castiel’s waist and kisses his temple, the angel nods and leans on him.

"We can do the spell again tomorrow," Dean says when Cas is lying on his stomach and Dean is gently combing the loose feathers out with his fingers.

"It’s pointless. It will wear out again." Castiel’s tired and resigned tone makes Dean’s stomach clench.

"But it'll buy us time. Chuck will get somebody who'll help us. Or we'll find something ourselves." Dean’s not sure who he is reassuring more - Cas or himself.

The angel nods and closes his eyes. "You’re right," he whispers.

"I love you," he adds and Dean almost chokes on held-back tears.

 

The next magic shot lasts only a few hours. Then Cas gets a fever and throws up everything they managed to get into him. He looks even worse than before they used the spell.

Chuck calls to tell them that he contacted doctor Pamela Barnes but she’s in Europe now, so they’ll have to hold on for a few more days. He recommends not using another spell within 24 hours of the last one. It’s hard for Dean not to yell and take his frustration out on him, the scientist is not the one to blame and he's trying to help.

Dean’s hands are shaking, as he wipes Cas’ forehead with a wet cloth.

"Cas? I think we should contact Naomi. She can cure you." Dean feels his stomach tie itself into knots asthe words leave his mouth but he knows it’s the right thing to do. There’s no time for pride. Cas is dying and he has to do anything possible to save him.

The angel shakes his head. "No, I don’t want it." His voice is surprisingly firm.

"But, Cas-"

"No, Dean," the angel cuts him off. "If she’s capable of doing such a terrible thing to get me there, what will she do to me when she can really get her hands on me? I’d rather die free."

Den clenches his teeth and closes his eyes, he can’t bear hearing Cas saying such things.

"We can find a way to get you out after she cures you."

"And than what? She'd rather kill us both than let me go. She will never leave us alone. Unless you’re going to kill her and I’m not letting you do that. I don’t want anyone to die because of me, even though she’s evil."

"Cas, please-" Dean trails off and huffs out a sob. He leans his forehead on Cas’ chest heaving with every ragged breath.

Cas runs his fingers through Dean’s hair.

"Dean, I want you to know that I’m happy you found me and brought me here with you. Each minute with you was worth waiting for years. I don’t care how this ends; the only thing that matters is that I was lucky to meet you, to meet my true mate."

Dean lifts his head and looks at Cas, his throat is so constricted he can hardly speak.

"No, don’t talk like that, please don’t!" The desperation in his voice should be embarrassing but he doesn’t care.

"Don’t talk like you’re saying goodbye. You’re not leaving me, I won’t let that happen, I won’t-" He suddenly can’t catch a breath.

Cas hugs him tightly and rubs his back soothingly. "Shh, Dean, it’s okay. It will be okay."

It’s a lie and they both know it, but somehow they both decide to pretend to believe it.

They lie down wrapped in each other’s arms and share lazy kisses until the exhaustion takes over Cas and he falls asleep.

Dean watches his peaceful face, too scared to close his eyes because he might miss something.

He thinks about what Cas said about Naomi. There must be a way to save Cas and not let her win at the same time.

He doesn’t remember falling asleep, but when he wakes up everything is dark and still, too still. Cas is limp in his arms. He doesn’t curl up and wrap his wings around himself when Dean untangles himself and sits up.

"Cas?" Dean kisses his forehead but the angel doesn’t react. "Cas?" He shakes his shoulder but it doesn’t wake Castiel up.

"Cas, please." Dean’s voice breaks when he scoops Castiel’s lifeless body into his arms.

"Don’t leave me, please." Hot tears roll down Dean’s cheeks and fall into Cas’ hair when he presses his lips to the top of Cas’ head.

"Don’t leave. I need you, Cas. I need you," he mumbles between sobs.

"I love you!" It’s a broken cry full of pain.

Sam and Jess burst into the room and find Dean with Cas pressed to his chest, crying into the angel’s shoulder.

"Dean, Dean, calm down. Let go of him, let go." Sam tries to loosen Dean’s grip on the angel’s body but Dean isn’t willing to let go. He can’t let go of Cas. He can’t.

"He has a pulse," Jess says holding Cas’ wrist.

"You hear this, Dean?" Sam’s voice sounds tinny and distant.

"He’s still alive, you need to let go of him, so we can help him. Dean, he’s alive."

Dean only pulls Cas closer, holding his head gently he presses a kiss to his forehead.

"Hold on, baby. Hold on," he mumbles and gently lays Cas on the bed. He gets up and storms out of the room, grabbing his phone on the way.

Sam follows him. "What are you doing?"

"Calling Naomi," he answers, wiping his tears.

"I thought Cas didn’t want it."

"I don’t care. I’m not letting him die. And I’m going to take the bitch down."

Sam stops his hand when he starts to dial. "Tell me your plan. Let me help."


	10. Chapter 10

"Did you call Garth?" Dean asks and when Sam nods, he crosses it off of the to do list.

"He'll contact Jody Mills and tell her everything."

"Good. Bobby, do we have the surveillance equipment?"

"Everything’s ready," the old man says slamming the case shut and tapping the lid.

"How’s Cas?" Dean turns to Jess who's just entered the living room.

"He’s still breathing. I think his body is saving energy by keeping him unconscious."

"We should use another spell on him," Dean suggests.

Jessica frowns and shakes her head a little. "It only made him feel worse last time, I don’t think we can risk it now."

Dean rubs his temples, trying to get rid of the migraine. "Okay, fine. He just needs to hold on."

"Yeah, uhm, I found this." Jess holds up a wrinkled piece of paper. "He was holding it in his hand."

"What is it?" Dean gets up and steps closer to her, snatching the note from her fingers.

It looks like one of the sigils Dean saw Cas drawing for Sam. There are some words in Enochian written by a shaky hand and half blurred from hiding in Cas’ sweaty palm.

"It’s some kind of a sigil. Can you read this?" He hands the paper to Sam.

"I’ve never seen the sigil but the note says carve into my chest."

"What the hell does it mean?" Dean bursts out. He shouldn’t be yelling at his brother but he’s too jittery. They’re running out of time and they still don’t know how to get Cas from Naomi’s hands.

Jess comes closer and places a hand on Sam’s shoulder.

"He might have been delirious when he wrote it."

"No," Dean shakes his head, "it must be important. He used the last remnants of his strength to write this. It must be important."

"Call the woman," Bobby tells him, taking the note from Sam, "and we’ll try and find out what it means."

 

Dean takes in a shaky breath, razor blade trembling in his hand. "Are we sure it'll stop Naomi?" he asks staring at Cas' bare chest.

Jess nods. "If Naomi and her people have magic in their blood, it will."

"And what if they don’t have any magic?"

Sam places a reassuring hand on his brother’s shoulder. "Dean, you know it’s rare. Almost everyone has at least some level of magic. You’re an exception, and an exception we can use against them."

Dean sighs and nods.

"Is it safe?"

The jump of the muscle in Sam’s jaw tells Dean he’s deciding how to say something unpleasant.

Jess is the one who speaks first. "It’s risky, but we believe Cas knew about the risk when he left us the note."

Dean bites his lower lip, eyes sliding over Cas’ motionless form. Something slimy is crawling into his throat, making it difficult to breathe.

"If you want, I can do it," Sam offers, shooting Dean a worried look.

"No. I’ll do it."

 

* * *

 

"Okay, let’s go, angel," Dean whispers as he takes Cas into his arms, black feathers falling on the bed. Castiel is too light. Dean tries to convince himself that it’s normal, that maybe he has hollow bones because of flying; but it feels like Cas is fading away, disappearing in front of his eyes.

He takes him into the car and lays him on the backseat with wings tucked back, drapes a blanket over him to keep him warm. It feels like it's not enough. Dean wants to be there with him, hold him against his chest and whisper into his ear.

When he arrives to the huge building of Skybound Pharmaceuticals, they’re already waiting for him.

The tall dark haired man approaches him the moment he gets out of the car.

"Good evening, Mr Winchester. My name is Inias. I have to check if you have any weapons."

Dean just rolls his eyes and spreads his arms so the guy can pat down his body, searching for a gun. He doesn’t find anything and nods at the other two waiting nearby.

"Hey!" Dean shouts when one of them opens the back door.

"I'm gonna take him myself, you’re not laying a hand on him," he growls, shooting them a threatening glare.

They raise their hands placatingly and step back from the car. Dean waits until they're satisfactorily far away, and scoots the angel into his arms. The sight of his pale face causes a pang of pain in Dean’s chest. He places a soft kiss to his chapped lips, not giving a damn about the eyes looking at him. All that matters is the feeling of Cas’ weak breath coming out in soft puffs.

They lead him into the building, which reminds him of a hybrid between hospital and a labyrinth, corridors winding from every juncture. It would be a great setting for a video game, Dean thinks, and has a manic urge to laugh.

They go through several code-protected doors. That will be a problem on the way out, but it doesn’t matter until Cas is cured. At least it seems there are no more guards on the way- the building almost seems empty, it’s the middle of the night after all. When they enter an elevator, one of the men uses a card to activate it and Dean makes a mental note to get himself one.

As light as Cas is, Dean's arms are aching by the time they let him into a brightly lit room, where Naomi is waiting. She’s in her perfectly fitting suit, with her perfectly tight bun, and a perfectly fake smile spreading her perfect lipstick-laden mouth. It takes Dean a lot of self control not to punch her, but there will be time for that after.

"Welcome, Dean. I’m glad you made the right decision."

"Shut it and cure him," Dean says through gritted teeth.

The smile he hates so much drains a bit from her face. She's clearly not used to someone talking to her without respect. Well, she'll have to get used to it, because there's no way Dean's going to be polite to her.

"Lay him here." She motions to a hospital bed behind her.

Dean obeys, gently putting Cas on the bed, making sure he doesn’t hurt his wings. He eyes the table with tools Naomi is standing by, feeling butterflies in his stomach.

"Good. Inias will walk you out," she says calmly, studying Cas’ face with a curious yet cold expression as if he was just an interesting new discovery and not a sentient being.

"I’m not leaving until I’m sure he’s okay," he says resolutely.

She looks at him with an annoyed frown.

"Alright. You can stay. But please, no dramatic scenes when he gains consciousness. You can explain the situation, then you’ll leave."

Dean clenches his fists but nods.

"And I hope I don’t have to tell you that if you try something reckless, you have no chance of leaving this building unharmed."

Dean snorts and crosses his arms on his chest.

"Do what you’re supposed to do. My mate is dying while you’re nourishing your ego."

She turns her back to him and reaches for a syringe.

"Calm down, Dean, he can't feel anything. He held on surprisingly long, I think he can hold on while we have a little chat." She turns and prepares Castiel’s arm for the injection of the antidote.

"Yeah he doesn’t feel anything now, but he sure as hell felt something when the magic was leaving his system. He was in pain!"

She just shrugs. "It was the only way to get him here. If you’d have been more rational, he wouldn’t have had to go through it."

Dean watches the needle disappearing under Cas’ skin and the pale liquid leaving the syringe.

"You’d rather let him die than leave him alone, you evil bitch," he hisses.

"Well, yes. There was a strong possibility one of our rivals could get a hold of him and I couldn’t allow that."

"You’re sick!"

She chuckles, the sound soft and silvery and disgustingly false.

"Me? Oh no, Dean. I’m not the one who mingles with animals."

Anger bursts through Dean's veins at her tone; an unbridled revulsion lacing her words.

"He’s not an animal," he growls. "He is a goddamn citizen and you’re breaking the law."

"I’m breaking a law that is wrong. It’s against nature. It’s the worst thing that happened to humanity, Mr. Winchester. And don't pretend, please, that you've never broken any laws yourself."

"So what?" Dean's barely keeping himself from yelling. "As revenge you hunt them, lock them up and torture them?"

She rolls her eyes and puts away the empty syringe. "No one’s torturing anybody, Dean. We just try to find ways to make them... useful...to humans. That’s their true purpose."

"So you think you serve humanity by holding them in this shithole and cutting them open." Dean laughs, mirthless and cold.

She just shrugs, the self-righteous smile widening into a grin. Her teeth are white and even; Dean thinks they should be stained with blood.

"You know what’s interesting, Dean? You’re defending your precious pet so much, but he’s not any better than me."

"What do you mean?"

"Did you even do your research about angels? They used humans as killing machines, Dean. Your lovely angel's killed hundreds himself."

"Yes, he told me that," Dean spits, as Naomi's face falters briefly "Surprised, Naomi? He did it because he had orders. He regrets it, and I regret it, and I don't think it's your goddamn business."

"And why do you think he got those orders?" Naomi asks, ignoring Dean's jabs. "Because his people believed it was the right thing to do. Well, now, I think it’s the right thing to do to...ah, have my way with the last one. It's only fitting, don't you think?"

The blood shoots up into Dean's head and he will kill her, he will tear her apart and set her down in tiny pieces-

"Dean?"

That's not Naomi's voice. It's husky and nervous and _his_.

"It’s okay, Cas, everything is okay," he says soothingly, tearing his eyes away from the women and looking down at Cas.

He feels like his heart has finally regained it’s lost rhythm now that he‘s looking into those deep blue yes. He’s so relieved it’s hard to focus on the plan.

He strokes Cas' cheek and presses their foreheads together, eyes closing as he focuses on sending a message through their bond. He tries to make it as clear and as loud as possible, screaming in his mind.

When he pulls away, Cas is staring at him with eyes wide, but he gives Dean a barely noticeable nod.

"It's time for you to get out now, Mr. Winchester," Naomi says silkily.

Dean doesn't answer. This has to be quick.

His hand darts out to rip Cas' shirt open, he hears Naomi gasp in surprise.

The room fills with white light as Castiel slams his hand onto the bloody carving on his chest.

An explosion of energy fills the room and Dean cringes at the brightness. He can feel things swooping around him, invisible and burning as they skim Dean's arms.

When Dean opens his eyes, his vision is blurry and his ears are ringing.

"Cas," he croaks. "Are you okay?"

"Yes. I feel like a comet just crashed into me, but I’m okay."

"And your...magic?"

Cas merely smiles, his wings spreading black and lustrous as before.

"Good," Dean breathes out, and looks around.

Naomi and her guards are unconscious on the ground.

"How does this work, exactly? Sam tried to explain what he'd found in the book, but I didn’t pay attention, too worried about my mate dying." Dean says crouching next to one of the guards, tearing the guy’s tie off to bind his hands.

"The spell...I learned it long ago. Uriel said it generates and releases a huge amount of magic. Living beings tend to absorb it." He explains, tying another guard.

"In anyone who already had some. It overloads," he adds, "and bounces out to the spellcaster."

“But I was safe because there is none in me and you-"

“It recharged what I lost due to the virus, yes.“

Dean flashes him a grin and bends down to retrieve the keycard.

"To be honest, when I left you the note, I didn’t expect you to use the sigil this way," Castiel says fairly.

Dean shrugs with a smirk. "Well, we had to be creative."

Castiel doesn’t smile back. “I also told you not to bring me here.”

“Come on, admit that you’re glad I did.”

“I will be when we get out of here,“ he answers and frowns at one of Naomi’s men.

Dean finishes tying Naomi’s wrists and looks at her face. She looks peaceful, vulnerable. Dean thinks about putting a bullet through her head. His thoughts are interrupted by Castiel’s concerned voice.

"This one is waking up, Dean," the angel announces, sparing the man a glance.

"Okay, take him as a hostage. That’s the one who knows all the codes."

Cas nods and hauls the disoriented guard to his feet. Dean presses one of the stolen guns to his temple.

"Get us out, Inias," he orders.

 

It’s almost too easy. Inias tells them the codes for every door they need to pass without even trying to struggle. It might be caused by Cas’ threatening glare and the aggressive posture of his wings, but Dean's got an uneasy feeling in his stomach. The angel's in charge of the hostage, while Dean holds his gun up checking out every corner for guards.

The alarm goes off when they’re almost out of the building.

When he shoots at the first guard who appears in one of the many hallways, he hears Cas’ protests in his head. Next time he aims for the legs.

Inias jerks his tied hands. "Untie me! I’ll help you! Gimme a gun and I’ll take you out!"

Dean gapes at him. "Do you think I’m crazy? Why would I do that? You’re one of them!"

"The things... the things Naomi said. You’re right. She’s crazy. She didn’t have the right to hurt you." He turns to Castiel. "Please!"

Cas presses his lips together and nods tightly.

"What are you doing?" Dean barks out.

"I trust him, Dean. He’ll be useful."

Dean sighs and knocks his head against the wall, but he doesn’t stop Cas when he unties the guard and hands him back his gun.

Inias shows them a different way out, avoiding the guards searching the main hallways.

 

Dean’s phone rings. He's hiding behind a corner. The guard who was supposed to pass them turns around and runs toward him. Cas steps out of a niche and takes him down with his bare hands.

Dean picks up the phone, still swearing in his mind at whoever is calling him right now.

"You made a mistake, Dean."

For the first time, there’s an edge of emotion in Naomi’s voice. "You made this personal."

Dean gives her a laugh, throaty and sarcastic this time. "You were the one who made it personal. I'm gonna personally ensure you suffer for it."

He hangs up on Naomi and follows the others down the corridor.

 

"Shit!" Inias hisses and punches the wall next to the code pad. "She must have shut down the whole building. My code doesn’t work anymore."

"Step back," Cas growls and places his palm over the device. There’s a flash of blue light under his hand and then the lock short-circuits. Inias opens the door while Dean stares at the angel.

"I didn’t know you could do things like that."

"You never asked."

 

They exit to a narrow alley. Dean looks around, trying to figure out where they are.

"My car is on the other side of the building."

"So are they," notes Inias. "It will be swarming with security staff."

Dean rubs the bridge of his nose, then he looks at Cas. "Can you fly?"

"Yes, but-"

A gunshot echoes between the walls. Dean presses Cas against a wall. Inias shoots back.

"You have to fly away, Cas."

"I’m not leaving you, here, Dean."

"They won’t do anything to me. It’s you they want. You need to get somewhere else."

"But I-"

Dean silences him with a kiss. "I will find you. I swear."

They hear more gunshots and voices. Then a sound of sirens in the distance. The guards flood into the alley. Three of them attack Inias, four others head toward Dean.

"GO!" Dean shoves Cas away. The angel looks at him for the last time and then he turns around and runs. His wings beat against the air and then he takes off. Dean would love to watch him fly, but there are more pressing matters.

He dodges the first punch but the other sends him against a wall.

"Police! Don’t move!"

It’s the first time in his life Dean’s actually happy to hear those words.

 

* * *

 

"Hello, Miss Mills, this is Dean Winchester. I’d like to thank you for getting me out of jail."

The woman on the other end of the line chuckles.

"Please, Dean, call me Jody. You’re welcome, but it wasn’t a problem. They didn’t have enough evidence to keep you there. The Skybound said you tried to break in, but they refused to share the records from the surveillance cameras."

"What about our recordings? Did you get them from Sam? Will they be enough to prove what Naomi's doing?"

"Well, not really since you didn’t have the permission for the surveillance. But I can promise you that I’ll open Skybound’s case again. She won’t get away with it."

"Thank you, Jody, but can you do it ASAP? I need to keep her busy right now, so she can’t go after Cas."

"I’ll see what I can do about that."

"Thank you."

"Good luck with finding your angel."

 

It’s not even 24 hours since he last saw Cas and he’s already aching with a need to see him again. The bond isn’t as silent as it was when Cas was unconscious. There’s still a feeling in the back of his head telling him that Cas is alright, but it’s far from the comfort he feels when Cas is near.

He’s pacing from one end of the room to the other, pretending he’s packing, but he’s not able to focus on anything. Sam grabs his shoulder to make him stop.

“So, what are you gonna do?”

Dean drops himself on the couch with a heavy sigh.

“Find Cas?” he says pinching the bridge of his nose. “I know I should stay and take care of Naomi, but I can’t. I’m too scared. There’s  too many things that could happen to him. What if he runs into some fanatics? Or hunters who don’t watch the news? And some of Naomi’s people might be following him. I need to get to him. Besides I’m pretty useless in this state,“ he sighs again looking at the mess he made while ‘packing‘. “Besides what can I do? Jody is already investigating. Doing something on my own would be pretty stupid. And I’m afraid... if I got my hands on her, I'd kill her. Cas told me he didn’t want that to happen.“

“Okay, I get it, You should go.“ Sam sits down next to his brother. “And I can take care of Naomi. I mean I can dig some dirt on Skybound and help Jody.“

“You would do that?”

“Yeah. Cas is family and Naomi deserves to be punished.“

“Thanks, Sam.“ They exchange warm smiles.

“I actually came to tell you I already have a plan.“

“You do?”

“You said Jody can’t use our videos because we didn’t have the permission, but I came up with a way to use them anyway.“

“Spit it out, Sammy.“

“I have a friend. Charlie. She’s an IT genius. She cut the recordings and made an impressive short video. She can publish it and make sure it goes viral on the internet.“

“Wow,“ Dean gasps. “That’s awesome. If people get interested in our case... if they refuse to buy stuff made by Skybound, It could ruin the whole company.“

Sam grins. “Not sure about that. But it will certainly make Naomi’s life much harder.“ 

 

* * *

 

It took him too long to leave. Really, he should have left two days ago. Now Cas is already God knows how far and Dean’s all jittery. He shifts nervously in the passenger seat of the Impala.

Sam looks at him with concern written all over his face. "Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?"

"Yeah, Sam. I need you to help Jody dig up everything you can on Naomi and Skybound. Besides, you have a wife and a baby on the way, you can’t leave them now."

Sam sighs and nods.

"But how are you even going to find him?"

"The bond," Dean answers without hesitation. "We can share some things through the bond. It’s harder when we’re far from each other but I already got some... images from him. Direction signs, landmarks. I know where to head to and when I get closer, I’m sure the directions will get more detailed."

Sam frowns, but doesn’t have any objections.

"Just be safe, okay?"

"I will."

There’s a heavy silence, before Sam pulls over at a parking lot. They both unbuckle their seatbelts and Sam turns to face his brother.

"You’ll come back, right?" The worry in his voice and eyes is somehow endearing and Dean has to smile.

"Yeah, I will. It may take some time. I'll stay with Cas wherever he's chosen to hide, until I know Naomi is no longer a threat. But then I’ll come back. I can’t let you and Jess corrupt my little nephew, right?"

Sam chuckles. "Cas said he thinks it’s gonna be a niece."

"Pff, is he a fortune teller or what?"

They laugh, then Dean pulls Sam into a hug. "I’m gonna keep in touch. Answer calls from an unknown ID. I’ll need to know how Naomi’s case is going."

"Right. Okay." Sam pats his shoulder.

"Take care and say hi to Cas."

"I will. Take care of Baby." Dean says as he gets out of the car. He waves a little when he shuts the door behind himself.

 

He uses buses and rented cars to travel, sleeps in motels. Uses fake IDs and pays in cash. He hides traces. He does everything his father taught him when he was young, monsters didn’t live among people, and hunting wasn’t an official job. He does a lot of research when he has to stop driving and rent a motel room. The video proved to be an awesome idea. People are publicly protesting against Skybound and it seems Cas has a fandom now. Dean can’t wait to tell him that, even though he'll have to explain what a fandom is.

He sighs and rubs his eyes. He misses Cas so much. He would tug at the bond, but he knows he would only get the same sadness he’s feeling as a reply.

Right now he’s sitting in another crappy motel room, eating Chinese food and staring into his laptop. The TV is on, but he's not paying attention to it until he hears the word Skybound. He looks up and turns the volume up.

“...the building was shut down due to the ongoing investigation. We didn’t manage to get in touch with the company’s executive Naomi Magnus, but we bring you an exclusive interview with one of her former employees,” the young reporter says and the camera turns to show a familiar face.

“It’s all true. The inhumane treatment...” Inias says looking devastated. “I thought it was acceptable until I saw that they did experiments on _all_ monsters - the humanoids too. Pulling out vampires’ teeth, poking at werewolfs’ brains. Terrible! But you know I still thought it was okay, I believed they were the bad ones, that maybe they killed someone. But then she captured the angel and...” Inias sighs and shakes his head. Dean huffs out a laugh. The guy deserves an Oscar for his performance. The reporter goes on about how Inias got them out of the building and how the angel’s whereabouts are unknown.

Dean turns the TV off. He’s glad Sam’s plan of making their cause public worked well. But he’s still not with Castiel and that’s all that matters. He can’t be happy, not yet.

He brushes his teeth and goes to bed. He sleeps a lot these days. When he sleeps, he gets the visions. He sees Cas flying at night and hiding in abandoned buildings through day. He makes a note of everything that can help him find his mate. But what's most important is when he sleeps and connects with Cas, he doesn’t miss him so damn much.

 

A few days later, it starts to seem like Cas has settled down. There’s no more flying, no more roads, just trees and something which might be a little cabin. In one of his dreams, Dean sees Cas hunting a deer through his eyes and it’s an amazing experience. When he wakes up, he packs his things as fast as possible and hits the road again. He can’t be without his mate for another day.

Fortunately he collected enough hints to know where to go and when he’s close enough, the bond starts to work like a compass. He knows when he’s going the right direction and when he’s losing track. It’s like a game of hot and cold.

When he feels like it’s the right time to leave the road and go into woods, he stops in a small town and buys everything he needs for hiking. He uses his new satellite phone to call Sam.

“Hi, Sam. It’s me.”

“Oh my god, Dean! I’m so glad you’re calling! Did you see the news?” Dean doesn’t have to see him to know that his brother has his trademark excited puppy look on his face right now. It makes him smile.

“No, last thing I saw was the interview with Inias. The guy's really enjoying his role, isn't he?”

Sam huffs out a laugh. “Yeah, but he puts himself into a danger by doing that. We should be grateful.”

“I am grateful, Sammy. Will you tell me the big news now?”

“Yeah, yeah of course. We practically won, Dean!”

“What?”

“The Skybound! They were found guilty of inhumane treatment, bodily harm and there’s still interrogation on a few murders! They have to shut down production and pay a huge fine.” The enthusiasm in his voice fades as he continues. “There’s a warrant out for Naomi's arrest, but she's disappeared.”

Dean takes a deep breath. “So the Skybound is ruined, but Naomi is still out there.”

“Yes, but she’s practically harmless, right?”

“Yeah I guess so. It’s good, really, better than I expected. Thank you Sam, you did a great job.”

“What about you? Are you getting closer?”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m calling. I’m headed into the woods. I bought a satellite phone, I guess you can save the number.”

“Okay. When you find him, will you come home?”

Dean rubs the back of his neck and looks at the dark line of the forest.

“Not right away. I think we both deserve a vacation. I’ll bring him back when living in the wild starts to get on my nerves, okay?”

“Fine. I expect you to be back next Monday.”

They laugh and say their goodbyes. Dean’s chest tightens, but he shakes it off. He’ll get back soon. Sam will be alright.

 

Dean takes a deep breath. The air is humid and smells of trees and dirt. He likes it, it’s a welcome change after the week on the road.

He knows he’ll eventually have to leave the track, but he’s going to follow it as far as possible.

It reminds him of the day he and Castiel first met. This time it’s different, Cas is no more prey and he’s not trying to shake him off. On the contrary, the bond is thrumming pleasantly, reacting to Cas’ nearness.

"I’m close, baby, I’m coming," he whispers, hoping that Cas can catch the thought.

 

The Sun is high above his head when he takes a break and eats a snack. He’s not sure how long he’ll have to spend in the woods before he finds Cas’ hideout.

It’s like bells ringing in the back of his head. Cas is near and he knows about him. Warmth spreads through his insides and he looks around even though he knows it’s pointless. Cas is closer than in weeks, but he’s still too far away.

He's never swallowed his food so quickly. He walks with a spring in his step.

 

The next time his spidey sense tingles, it has nothing to do with Cas. He’s not sure at first, but when he leaves the track and heads between the trees, he’s sure he’s being followed. It’s dark already and his stalker (or stalkers) is good but not good enough.

He focuses on the bond and as a reply he receives a wave of anger and protectiveness. He almost sees the angel with his wings ruffled up.

 

The plan is to lead the guys in circles and come at them from behind. He can already see one of them, obviously confused, because his pray disappeared. Crouching behind a bush, Dean takes off his backpack so he can move faster. He tightens his grip on a gun and darts out.

The guy isn't paying attention, his back towards Dean, playing with something in his hand. Dean decides to knock him out with the stock of his gun. He turns around at the last moment and dodges Dean’s blow. The warning lights in Dean’s mind flare up, but he keeps fighting. His opponent manages to disarm him. His gun ends up in the mud. Dean feels a bone breaking under his fist and his knuckles are red with blood. He gets a punch in his stomach, but his enemy doesn’t keep the upper hand for long.

Dean lets out a breath, when he’s finally holding the guy with his hands twisted behind his back.

He freezes when he hears the voice behind him.

“You’re screwed.“ He doesn’t have to look to know that there’s a gun pointed at his head.

He lets go of the one he’s holding (well he actually pushes him a little so he falls face first into the mud) and slowly turns to face the other one, hands raised.

There’s a sharp tug at the bond. He sees the fear in his enemy’s eyes, staring somewhere above Dean’s head. Dean doesn’t hesitate, he uses the moment of surprise and attacks. It almost feels as if he's a puppet, his limbs moving on invisible strings. He hits so hard that his adversary stumbles back and falls on his ass.

Dean turns around just to see the black silhouette of the angel, descending from the sky right in front of Naomi’s man. He hears rustling of the wings and sees blue light when he takes care of the other one, making sure he’s unconscious.

When he looks up again, his heart is beating fast. He realizes it’s not fear, but excitement.

Castiel looks impressive. The man is helpless against the angel’s strength. Dean hears the snap of a broken wrist and flinches a little. Cas’ deep growl makes his hair stand on the end.

"I won’t kill you, because I promised I’d never kill a human again."

The man tries to struggle against Cas’ grip and whimpers in pain.

"But I swear, if you tell anyone where we are, if you bring anyone here, I’ll make all of you suffer in ways you can’t even imagine. Believe me, angels are very creative in ways of torture."

The man tries to say something, probably a promise, but it comes out as a frightened sob. Dean isn’t surprised. Cas looms over him with his wings spread in high arches and his eyes are glowing

When he lets go of him, the guy crawls away.

“Get your buddy and run. Or I’m not gonna be as merciful as my mate,” Dean adds and watches as the guy wakes up his companion and they run away like scared animals.

The whole display of power has left Dean a bit tingly, but he doesn’t say anything about it when he turns to face Cas.

"Do you think it was a good idea to let him go?"

"Even if he decides to come back, the place where I decided to settle is far enough."

“Good,” Dean nods. There’s a tense silence, then Dean smiles softly.

“You saved me.”

“ I guess I owed you that.” Castiel at him and Dean’s heart swells. He lets out a short laugh.

It almost hurts when they wrap their arms around each other.

It’s so good to see Cas again and in full strength, that it makes Dean’s eyes burn.

"I missed you so much," he whispers, nuzzling at Cas’ neck.

The angel fists his hand in Dean’s hair and makes him tilt his head so they can kiss.

When they pull apart, Dean lets out a shaky breath. He has been so scared. He only now realizes how afraid he was that they wouldn't make it, that he would lose Cas.

"It’s okay, Dean, we're safe now." Cas whispers, running his hand through Dean’s hair.

"I hope we are."

"And if they come after us, we can face them together."

Dean nods and presses a hard kiss to Cas’ lips.

"Is the place we’re staying at far? I’m pretty tired."

"I believe we can get there in half an hour. I can take your things."

 

The cabin is small, but in good shape. No electricity and running water, but it will have to do. There are candles that help him with unpacking and there’s a bed which is actually everything he needs right now.

It feels so good to curl up with Cas by his side it almost makes him weep with joy.

“Tell me what happened,” the angel says in a low voice.

“When you flew off, I got arrested,” Dean chuckles softly. “The police actually saved me from Naomi’s people. Jody got me out.” Cas lets out a relieved breath.

“Sam came up with an idea to make our case public. He published the surveillance video and made some statements in media. People went crazy, they even protested against Skybound. There was an investigation and they’re pretty much screwed now.”

“That’s good,” Castiel smiles. “What about Naomi?”

“She fled.” Castiel nods. When he sees Dean’s frown, he kisses his forehead.

“She won’t find us here.”

“I know. But we can’t stay here forever.”

It’s Cas’ turn to frown. “No?”

“No Cas I... I want to stay here with you for a while. But I can’t live in the wild forever. I need to work. And there’s Sammy and...”

Cas presses a finger against Dean’s lips. “Alright, Dean. We’ll go ack. When things settle down, when people forget about us a bit.”

“Okay,” Dean breathes out and shuts his eyes.

The angel buries his nose in Dean’s hair and makes a purring sound. Dean chuckles and grabs fistfuls of Cas’ feathers.

"I missed your smell," Cas murmurs and rubs his cheek against Dean’s stubbled one.

"I missed your wings," Dean says with a sigh and turns his head to catch Cas’ lips with his.

 

He’s still worried. Even when he wakes up with Cas’ wing draped over his body and Cas’ warm breath on his neck. He’s worried, because Naomi is still out there with some of her followers. She might somehow find them or try to hurt his family to get through to him. He’s worried that something bad will happen again. That the happiness that’s filling his heart to the brim can’t last.

He’s worried, but when he runs through the forest, sun coming through the branches and the sound of wings above his head, he realizes it’s okay. Cas was right. Whatever comes, they will face it together.

"I love you," he breathes out when the angel lands in front of him, wings shining in the sun, wide smile on his face. He doesn’t think the words are a curse anymore. They’re a spell, the most powerful one.

"I love you," he repeats when his mate wraps his arms around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Don't forget to check out [ the art](http://kalime80.livejournal.com/4267.html).  
> All feedback is appreciated! You can find me on [tumblr](http://cas-lost-grace.tumblr.com/).


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